Beautiful Torment
by Sideos
Summary: Earthly Addictions sequal. Zim falls deeper into a life of drug addiction however things are changing. He is changing. A story of nurture vs nature, real vs fantasy, heart vs logic. Summed up in the words 'Sex, drugs and rock n' roll.'
1. And we find our foolish hero

Invader Sideos is lookin' back on the track for a little green bag and singing: HERE IT IS FOOOOOOOLS! The continuation of Earthly Addictions is here! Let's take a note for those who haven't read E.A. Zim is a drug addict, and not in a funny way ether. I have made Zim into something no other IZ writer on this site (to my knowledge anyway) has ever done. Some have made him gay, the Tallest, human, date Gaz, date Tak, have kids etc, etc. But NO ONE has ever gone as far as to make him a junkie.

Personally I can't see why not...I mean, it's original, fun and great to write about. I suppose people expect you to write about how horrible and wrong it all is, which is indeed true. But hey, it's not that bad when you're actually ON the damm stuff...well when you're actually taking it at the time anyway.

But I digress.

Last time we saw our wonderfully foolish anti-villain, Zim, he was on the ropes. No Tallest, on the most addictive drug on earth, no dealer to get it from and no friends or base to go back to. So let's pick up directly from where we left off.

Written to Iggy and the Stooges, mainly Nightclubbing, Lust for Life and Search And Destroy.

I don't own Zim. Fanfics, here I come...

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The cold December wind howled through the dark streets of the city. The midnight moon half shone through the looming multi-story buildings and drifting clouds, which were loaded for another night's snow blitz. The shops, although most of them were shut, were still brightly lit with advertisements for creepy Christmas decorations and pathetic mass produced presents. The streets were black with the night, and only the neon lit shop windows and the orange street lights cast any colour into the world. Dirty snow was everywhere. No longer the clean white of the suburbs, the city's snow was be-speckled with mud, litter and other filth that it had swallowed from the people during the day.

The streets were totally empty, only the odd rat, cat or stray dog would emerge into the sparse light, but they would go just as fast as they arrived. There was only one exception to this.

Walking in silence was a single being. He was a very thin boy who looked to be about seventeen. He had black pants which were tucked into black boots. He had a red shirt with thin black stripes and, over this, wore an ankle long dull red coat which looked like it had been taken from the army. On his head was a slightly messy, but quaffed head of black hair, and when he walked under a street light one could see his half lidded eyes were of a dark blue colour with dark rings surrounding them, making him look tired and worn out.

Strangely however, he had no nose or ears and on his back was an odd looking, oblong-ish metallic object with three large dull pink spots. One could also see that this person had pale, sickly green skin and when he hugged his arms around him as the cold wind blew, one could spot that he had only a thumb and two claw-like black gloved fingers on each hand.

The reason was because this person was in fact not a human, but an alien. More precisely, he was an Irken named Zim. However, unlike any other alien who visited Earth, Zim was not observing the strange backwards inhabitants, or admiring the natural wonders of a blue sky and a brilliantly varied climate which covered mountains, fields, deserts and a none toxic sea. Zim only had one thing running over and over in his mind.

"I need some aswermitus...now," he grumbled out while giving an involuntary shiver. "Damm Dib, thinking he could better me. HA, STU-pid HU-MAN, I am Zim! I am the best..."

Zim rubbed a hand over the top of his arm. Under the coat and shirt lay a small pinprick in the pale green skin. This pin prick was where Zim had been regularly, night after night, placing a syringe into his arm and pumping the latest in highly addictive and hallucinogenic street drugs into his veins. Zim had so far gone almost twelve and a half hours without a fix, and so his body was reminding him what happened when he did satisfy the biological and psychological demand.

Zim could feel the itch right across his arms, that horrible crawling, under skin itch that wouldn't go away no matter how hard you scratched. He could also feel the internal shivers, the ones that no amount of cold could match, and the clammy sweats along his back, face and palms.

His body was screaming at him in pain, horror and rejection, but most of all, it screamed in hunger. Zim knew that what he was doing was probably eating him alive. His first two weeks inwards had destroyed the old, healthy, manic Zim. The drug had re-shaped him; he had become cold, anti-social. His once boundless energy had been sapped from him, leaving nothing but a shadow of the former Irken elite.

But he didn't care. All he wanted was another fix, another chance to get away from all the pain and rejection and filth he saw around him, another chance to see the object of his unsurpassed obsession. The girl in the drug dreams.

The image of the strange Irken girl came to Zim's mind and it brought a smile to his face. Her clothes often changed as no two trips were ever alike, but her features always stayed the same. That beautiful face, those perfect teeth and wonderfully dark blue eyes. Her slim body and those odd white bunny ears instead of normal antenna.

Zim closed his eyes and whispered "perfect," although he often wondered why he found the bunny ears so alluring. He shrugged, when he saw her it never mattered anyway.

He opened his eyes and watched cautiously as a stray dog sniffed near a darkened alleyway before running in the opposite direction, across the road, and into the shadows. His eyes looked to the alleyway the dog had come from and he saw a shimmer of movement.

His heart, and veins, leapt. Could this be a dealer with the one drug he needed? Zim had encountered several drug dealers during the walk, but none of them had the one his body screamed for.

For a short time he had wondered about how he could pay for any more of the drug. The Dib-human had forced him from his home and hadn't given him the chance to get the amount he needed. However, on his walk around the city he had been threatened by a small group of people, most of them dressed, rather oddly for the weather Zim had thought, in semi-expensive sport clothes and were tattooed. They had talked a lot like his original dealer, which had prompted Zim to ask them if they were selling any answermitus. Instead they had laughed and tried to assault him. It was their funeral. Zim had unleashed the full fury of a former Irken elite, who had not had his desired drug, upon them. When he had taken the last one down, all under two minutes, he had taken the liberty to rob them of all their money, which resulted in a safe one thousand two hundred dollars.

He broke out into a run and skidded round and into the ally, which was dimly lit by a single streetlight. However there was not a dealer, but three humans. The first two were big, strong looking and were dressed in the same style, but slightly more formal, clothing he had seen on the gang before. However, these guys had coats and gloves on, obviously because of the night's deathly cold. One was a large African-American with a black goatee and a bald head, also. In his left hand he held a rather beaten-up looking back-pack.

The other was a slightly tanned Caucasian man with a shaved face and short bleach blond hair. Both wore sunglasses, which was odd seeing as it was almost pitch black, and both were very ugly. They were both cornering the third human to the side of the wall and looking down on him with sneering, vicious smiles.

The third human was very different from the two standing over him. He had floppy, messy brown hair that came down over his eyes and round his head like a bowl. His face looked ill, thin and tired. He had great dark rings round his dark green eyes, which were covered by a pair of large, thick rimmed glasses and his cheekbones were visible in his almost white face. He was wearing a black hoody with the hood pulled down, a pair of black gloves on his hands and a pair of green, tight, combat pants which hung over a pair of damaged looking converse shoes. He looked to be roughly the same age as the Dib human, and he was cowering from the two larger, older men.

Zim stood at the opening of the ally and watched from the shadows as the stronger humans threatened the smaller one. It reminded him greatly of when he had seen the jocks at Hi-Skool bully the nerds. Watching those always used to cheer Zim up after a long day.

The first bully, the blond one, pushed the smaller human into the alley wall roughly and gave a stupid sounding laugh. "You don't go angryin' our gang, man."

"Yea," The other one chuckled dumbly, "You think you can use you're...err...cutting skills to steal our cash?"

The blond one turned to his equally stupid friend, "It's hacking, Bob. He hacked the boss's bank account."

"Oh," The one named Bob mused, "Well, I knew he used a computer."

The blond one turned back to the smaller teenager. "The boss wants us to make you eat the dirt for that one. Huh, huh, huh."

The smaller guy suddenly spoke up. He even sounded nerd-ish with his jumpy, nasally voice. "Oh please don't kill me. I didn't know I was hacking your boss's account. Please, let me go. You've got your money back! Please!" He sobbed out the last words and slid down the wall as the two larger men looked on, laughing even more stupidly.

Zim rolled his eyes; he was already bored with this. He turned and was about to walk away, when the goateed one said something that caught his attention. "You A junkies are all alike."

Zim spun back round, but made sure to make as little sound as possible when he did.

"Yur," the blond one chucked as he slowly reached into his coat pocket, "You're all so spiked up you don't even know what you're doing most of the time until...BANG!"

The smaller boy jumped where he was crouched in his protective ball against the alleyway. "Please, please, please! Oh God someone help me!"

Zim took the invite and stepped out of the shadows, his fists already balled to fight. "Let him go...now."

The two stronger men looked just as shocked as the smaller, whimpering teenager on the ground. It was several seconds until the goateed one spoke up. "Who the hell are you holmes?"

The blond one stepped away from the boy on the ground and began to slowly approach Zim, his hand still reaching for his jacket pocket. "Yea, man, you better walk away now or I'll blow you away."

Zim's mouth twitched in an amused smile, "You can't hurt me, I am Zim. I am superior to you human scum."

The stronger guy again seemed bemused at this; he wasn't very used to being insulted unless it was by his boss. "Did you just insult me?"

The one named Bob looked to his friend, "Hey, Rock, I think he just insulted you."

Zim rolled his eyes at their collective idiocy. "Of course I insulted you. Are you really so thick skulled that you can't tell when you're being insulted?"

Rock growled, drew out the gun he was reaching for with his right hand and pointed it at Zim, who didn't bat an eyelid. The gun was your average run-off-the-mill berretta. The only difference was that it had a silencer attached to it. The thug grinned slowly. "You better take that back, fool, or I'll-"

He didn't finish. Zim darted forward and before Rock could blink Zim had grabbed his wrist. The Irken twisted it like lightning and instantly broke the man's arm. Rock automatically dropped the gun and Zim released his wrist and grabbed the gun in the same movement. Before Bob could even react properly, Zim turned the gun to him and shot him through his shoulder.

The two men howled in pain and Zim took the advantage further. He kneed Rock in his crotch and followed with a sharp kick to the face, instantly knocking him cold. Bob tried to reach for his own gun, but Zim had already jump-kicked him in his stomach and, as Bob doubled over, Zim delivered a swift kick to the side of the man's head, instantly knocking him unconscious.

Zim quickly dropped the gun and doubled over, resting his hands on his knees. Almost immediately Zim felt like he had run for thirty miles straight. The drug abuse had sapped his energy until short runs now made him tired.

However he couldn't rest yet, as the teenager who had watched wide eyed on the floor now grabbed the bag from the K.Oed Bob's hand and, with a short stumble, he got up, grabbed an already exhausted Zim by the shoulder, and ran at full speed out of the ally and into the street.

Together the two boys ran. Well, it was more like the floppy haired teen was dragging a very angry Zim down the street and through a few more dark alleyways at full speed until finally he stopped behind a twenty-four hour store and collapsed, panting heavily. Zim would have beaten the living daylights out of the boy for making him run so fast if he could gather the energy to do so, but he too fell against the back of the store, devoid of breath.

It took a good ten minutes of panting before the hooded teen got the energy to loll a head towards Zim and breathe out, "Thanks for that, man."

Zim had recovered quicker however, and he darted at the teen, grabbing him by the neck of his hoody while raising a clawed fist beside his head.

The Irken's voice growled as he hissed, "Don't think I saved you because I'm such a good citizen, stink-beast. You have knowledge that I need."

The now scared teen quickly stuttered out, "I told those thug guys everything I know, I swear. I don't work for anyone, I-"

"SHUT YOUR NOISE-TUBE, WORM BABY!" Zim looked the now terrified teen in the eye, "Where's your dealer?"

The teen furrowed his brow slightly. "W-What?"

Zim growled again and pulled his grip on the boy's shirt tighter. "Those stupid idiots said that you were an aswermitus addict, so I repeat. Where. Is. Your. DEALER!"

The teen looked at Zim in confusion for a few seconds more, before a slow smile appeared on his worried looking face. "You're...You're an addict too?"

"Yes," Zim growled out. He was beginning to actually consider beating the answer out of the weak looking junkie. "And I haven't had my nightly fix, so if you don't tell me where your dealer is then I will destroy you. OK?"

Zim expected the teenager to cower in the face of his mighty Irken persuasion powers, but instead the boy smiled wider. "Oh, I can do much better then that. Let me go and I'll show you a place where you can take all the A you want, dude. It's like an addict hotel or something."

Zim narrowed his eyes at the junkie in thought. Should he trust him? After all, he was about to be shot by a thug, so who knows what sort of things the kid had been doing. But then again Zim had saved this human's life, if he hadn't stepped in then the boy could have been shot.

Zim looked down for a second before looking back at the teen, pushing him further into the wall. "If you're lying to me, I will do the same to you as I did to those pathetic worms back there. OK?"

The teenager nodded quickly and grabbed his backpack tightly. "Sure, sure. I-I'm Shawn, by the way."

Zim let go and stood up, never taking his eyes from the human. He watched with cautious eyes as the human also got to his feet. "I'm Zim. I'm a totally normal human pig smelly. Understand? I am normal."

Shawn gave Zim a quick, curious look before laughing it off and putting up his hood. "You really need a fix, man."

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Enjoy that folks? I know it's not the usual IZ fanfic; in fact it's not very IZ at all. But hay, I don't care. The best IZ fics are always the ones that go outside the usual IZ-ness anyway.

Ok, Shawn. I hope you guys like him, or hate him...see if I care. His design was mostly my shot at your typical nerd/hacker turned drug addict. The name comes from SLC punk, a movie about punks, and there's this hobo kid called Shawn who was whacked on acid for about a month in the film...I thought it would be fitting for the character. He has a line where he says "I'm a bum now...it sucks man!"

Bob...no story, just a random name.

Rock comes from 'Rock Holmes', a Japanese anti-hero guy who has been in several different comics playing many different roles. I don't own a copy of him, but he does have a two page bit in my '500 manga heroes and villains' book.

R&R now, do your patriotic duty!


	2. The Thunders Hotel

Invader Sideos again with more news on the front line: I've HORRIBLY DEPRESSED for the last few days…really. You have no idea how depressed. Well…maybe some of you do. But that's not the point. I have no idea why I've been depressed, but I'm going to stop being depressed. By all means necessary.

So let's slap on some Motley Crue to calm me old bones down. It's Dr Feelgood 'n' all...P.S that's where the name came from. Motley Crue's song about drug dealers, "He's the one to call, Dr Feelgood, he's the one that makes you feel alright..." So, speaking of drug dealers, be prepared to meet one in this exciting chapter of B.T!

Written to Motley Crue DVD

I don't own...you know what, let's guess shall we?

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The sky was falling. The greying night clouds had finally released their load and a new blanket of snow was now descending on the city. There was no wind to blow the snowflakes, so they fell straight down. Straight onto the heads of Zim and Shawn, who were still trudging though the city despite the lateness of the night. It had been almost a full hour since they had set off from the twenty-four hour store and still there was no drug hotel that Zim had been promised. He was beginning to think that the teenage human had lied to him.

Zim looked to his left and watched as the teenager took another intake of what he had called a cigarette and flicked the ashes to the floor.

He had been doing that for most of the journey, every time he finished one he would take out another. The smoke that came from the cigarette sometimes drifted past Zim's face, causing him to cough and growl at the boy, who would then swiftly apologise.

It happened again, a cloud of smoke drifted into Zims face and he coughed while waving it quickly away. He growled again at Shawn. "Stop doing that, filth beast. This is your last warning."

"Sorry Zim," the hooded boy quickly replied. He took another toke of his cigarette and flicked it into the snow. Zim watched as the human reached into his hoody pocket, trying to find another cig, but when he couldn't find one he swore under his breath and looked to his green skinned companion. Zim stared back coldly until he slowly said, "What?"

"Oh," Shawn snapped out of his staring and looked to the floor. "Nothing."

Zim narrowed his eyes. "No, what is it. Tell me, tell Zim," he said while drawing on his name.

The teen placed his hands into his pockets and looked away for a second before looking back at Zim, but he avoided the Irken's eyes. "I was just wondering why you have no nose...or ears."

Although he hid it, Zim was quietly surprised. No one apart from the Dib had ever noticed that flaw in his ingenious disguise before. However he smiled slyly and said, "Leprosy."

"Ahh," Shawn's eyes widened slightly, "That explains your hands then."

Again Zim was surprised; this human must be of Irken-like intelligence to notice these things. Or maybe he was in league with Dib. Zim made a mental note to later get this Shawn human checked out.

Another moment of silence between the two passed before Zim looked up at the grey, dark sky and casually asked, "Are we there yet?"

Shawn smiled and nodded. "Not long now, man. Hey, can I ask you something?"

Zim narrowed his eyes at the teenager, this human was beginning to become more annoying then Dib...well, maybe not that annoying. "What?"

"I just wanted to know," he asked rather nervously, "Why did you do it?"

Zim suddenly felt himself go on the defence. "Do what?" Although he already knew what the human meant.

Shawn stopped, causing Zim to stop a pace ahead of him. They were standing at the entrance to another alleyway, this one with no lights. He looked away, and then looked back to Zim with a great self pity in his eyes. "Why did you take the drug?"

Zim felt a shiver of internal cold run along his arms, so he folded them across his body, his left hand grasping his right elbow and his right hand slowly rubbing the spot on his left arm where he placed the syringe. He could feel his clothes stick against the clammy sweat along his skin and he cringed, this caused his claws to scrape his arms which quickly set of the itching again. He looked at the teenage junkie standing in the cold before him. Why did he take the drug? He tried to remember the exact reason why he didn't just carry on walking after Dr Feelgood had offered him his first try. He remembered how he felt so angry after the Tallest had cast him out the Empire, but also something else. Something he had only felt a few times in his long life. Something he would never admit to this boy.

"I wanted something new," Zim replied coldly and bluntly. "What about you?"

Amazingly, as he asked this, Zim really wanted to know. He had never seen or met someone who did aswermitus before, never been able to talk to someone about how he felt on, or off the drug. He had once tried to describe it to Gir but the robot simply couldn't understand, the house computer neither cared nor listened, and the robot parents were programmed to stop him from miss-behaving like that, which is why he had deactivated them until he thought it would be safe enough to turn them back on.

Zim looked at Shawn who again looked away before looking back, but never into his eyes, it seemed to be a sort of automatic reaction within the boy to do so.

"M-My step-dad used to do a lot of different stuff, he would make me hack peoples accounts to get the money. When this new drug came out of no-where he immediately got onto it. Soon it was all he was doing, it took over his life. Then it killed him. I got so depressed that I decided to try it for myself and well...here I am." He gave Zim a small, sad smile before turning swiftly to walk down the alleyway that they had been standing in front of.

Zim followed him in, all the while thinking how stupid humans really were. The child's parental unit dies of a drug and the child decides to take it up himself? Madness.

In silence the two of them walked down the dark and cold alleyway, neither wanting to say anymore on the matter. Eventually, after a few minutes of trekking though the now ankle deep snow, they came out into a sort of back street, filled with rotting houses, sleazy looking hotels and neon signs advertising the very worst in human sexual obscenity.

Zim made sure to keep his eyes straight forward when walking past the dimly glowing shops. It was bad enough putting up with the humans and their stupid primitive ways but then there were these things. What sick race of beings needed to feel pain to feel pleasure? Zim felt proud for that moment as he relished the fact that the Irken race had been long freed of such ideas. He knew that since the invention of the PAK, the hormones necessary to feel such urges had been greatly repressed. He remembered watching on TV as Irkens with PAK's that had malfunctioned to increase those hormones had been publicly executed for defective practises. He smiled to himself; he was glad that something like that had never happened to him.

He snapped out of these thoughts when Shawn held out an arm, which Zim almost walked into. He turned, again growling at the junkie, but Shawn grinned and pointed forward. Zim followed the direction to look down to the very end of the street.

Zim looked at the building, if that's what you could call it, which stood before him. It was about ten floors high and looked like it should be pulled down. Almost every window that Zim could see seemed to be either smashed in or boarded up. Around the first floor the walls were coated in graffiti and the door looked like it was hanging on with string.

There was a burnt out sign above the door that Zim read out as, "The Thunder's hotel?"

Zim turned to look at a still grinning Shawn, who nodded eagerly. "Yea, this is where me and a few other addicts live. They usually don't allow new members in, but since you saved my life 'n all, I think they'll make an exception."

Zim only hummed in musing agreement and began following Shawn into the hotel.

Together they walked through the door; or rather they lifted the door aside and put it back, and began to walk up the stairs.

As they did so Shawn explained quickly, "It's all upstairs on the third floor, it's the only floor that still has any electricity."

Zim just nodded, he was too disgusted at the state of the building around him to bother saying anything. The wallpaper was peeling of the wall, where there was any at all. Most of the inside was just was wrecked as the outside, if not more. At least outside it still had all of its walls intact. They walked across the second floor corridor to get to the last set of stairs, as part of the staircase they had been walking up had collapsed. As they did so, Zim noticed that Shawn was beginning to scratch his arms more and hold himself tighter, and realised that's that what he used to do when he knew he was getting close to his addiction source. This realisation suddenly set his hunger off, or more accurately, made it louder. He too held himself tightly as he walked, and his eyes became half lidded.

Shawn looked over to Zim and quietly said, "Almost there now, man."

Silently they walked up the last set of stairs and into the final corridor. Shawn almost ran down the hall to a door labelled sixty-five. He waited for Zim to catch up before knocking hastily several times on the door.

A moment of complete stillness passed before a rather gruff voice cautiously called out from the other side, "Who is it?"

Shawn lent toward the door and shouted back, "It's me, Shawn."

A second passed, then the door creaked open slightly, it had a small catch to stop people from barging in, which Shawn looked like he was ready to do to get to his drugs.

A pair of eyes appeared in the crack, first inspecting Shawn then falling on Zim. The person nodded and said, "Who's the green guy?"

Shawn turned to Zim, then back to the eyes at the door. "Oh, that's Zim, he saved my life and he's an on spike. I was wondering if he could kinda...stay here with us tonight?"

The eyes narrowed, staring straight at Zim, "On A are you...how much money do you have?"

Zim stared back, his own eyes narrowing, "How much are you selling it for?"

The answer was a quick, "Five hundred bucks."

Zim sneered triumphantly. "Then I have enough."

The eyes removed themselves and the door shut. From behind it there was an exchange of voices. Zim quietly wondered if he had been being ripped off for several weeks, or maybe it was inflation, or maybe this new dealer was just nice. He shook off his pondering as there was the sound of the lock being removed and the door was fully opened.

Standing there was a man with tanned, Mexican skin who looked to be in his thirties. He had a shaved head and small grey eyes. He was wearing a pair of blue, worn out jeans and a pair of workers boots. He was also wearing a white t-shirt and a brown zip up top. He looked well built, but with a large beer belly and his casual, uncaring smile gave the impression that he was somehow better then Zim and Shawn. Zim immediately didn't like this guy and he got the impression that this guy didn't like Zim either.

Shawn however walked in and quickly said, "Hi Vega"

Zim followed without saying a word.

He walked into a room that was lit with various un-covered light bulbs and was comfortably warm considering the state it was in. The walls, like the ones outside, were covered in graffiti and the parts that weren't, were ether open holes to the other rooms or where the wallpaper had pealed away to take off the marks. To his left there was a part which Zim assumed used to be a kitchen of some sort. While it did have a toaster and some normal, if rather horrid looking, kitchen utensils, it also had a counter and Zim could see several piled bin bags. Vega walked into the kitchen and proceeded to make himself something to eat, while also picking up a newspaper, which he read casually.

The room was a dull brown in the dirty lights and was littered with things that reminded Zim a little too much of his own house. Chip packets, Poop cola cans and a few McMeaties take away boxes. Around the front of the room, where some boarded up windows were, was an old and almost destroyed comfy chair as well as a few dirty looking mattresses which had a several blankets covering them. Also, mostly around the centre of the room, were a few needles and a few empty glass vials. Zim's hunger for his fix roared at the sight of the vials and needles, he had to lean heavily against a wall and bite his lip to stop himself from screaming out loud in pure addiction lust.

In the centre of the filthy room casually sat another teenager. He looked older then Shawn or Dib, a year or two perhaps. He had short blond hair and bright blue eyes. He was wearing a probably once white tank-top and a pair of tight black pants which were ripped at the knees, and on his feet where some tattered baseball trainers. He, like Zim and Shawn, was very thin but with a shadow of someone who used to be quite athletic. He was also pale with dark rings around his eyes and on his left arm was a large bruise. Zim was beginning to spot a pattern emerging.

He looked at Zim and gave a weak smile. "So you're the green guy, Zim, right?"

Zim nodded once. "And who are you?"

The boy hugged his arms around himself and shut his eyes tight. Zim watched as the addict suffered a short, but strong, shiver. When he had finished the teenager looked back at Zim and weakly said, "I'm Iggy."

Iggy turned to look rather disapprovingly at Shawn, who was removing his black hoody to reveal a dirty yellow t-shirt, and said, "So what happened? What trouble did someone else dig you out of this time?"

Shawn re-adjusted his glasses and sat down on one of the tattered mattresses directly in front of the kitchen counter and directly opposite Zim, however he still kept his bag close to hand and still refused to make any real eye contact with anyone. "I just got unlucky, that's all. Some small time gangster sent some thugs to get me. I thought I was done for 'till Zim showed up."

Iggy looked at Zim, who smiled smugly, then back as Shawn continued. "You should have seen him. This dude pointing a gun right at him and he just didn't care. He just grabs this guy's arm and snaps it in two with this kung-fu move. Then he goes and beats the crap out of this other guy and saves me."

"Only because you were an addict," Zim cruelly sneered. "Keep that in mind. If you weren't I would have walked off."

Shawn ignored this and Iggy's sniggering. He lent forward and eagerly asked, "How did you do it? I mean, what was it? Kung-fu? Karate? Where did you learn to do that?"

Without thinking Zim quickly replied, "Standard close combat training, Irken military planet of Devastis." His eyes widened the moment it finished leaving his mouth.

Iggy and Shawn both gave him a very inspecting look and Zim could feel himself tense, ready to make an escape if they even accused him of being an alien.

However Iggy just slowly said, "I think you've been on this stuff too long. It's messing with your head, man."

Shawn laughed and agreed. "Yea, you should have heard what he said before about being normal."

Zim laughed nervously, that was much too close, although he did cast a second long glare as Vega coughed something that sounded sneakily like, "Weirdo."

The Irken quickly crossed the room, skipping over the crap on the floor, before getting to a rather dirty and damaged looking mattress. It was just across from Shawn, but tucked away into the corner. Zim scowled, it was utterly unfit for someone of his greatness, but for now it would have to do. He sat down; grabbing a nearby blanket to sit on and made it clear to everyone by the way he curled his legs to his chest that he wanted to be left alone.

He listened as Iggy again began talking to Shawn, who took a half smoked cigarette from the floor.

"So anyway, I've been talking with my band. They say that they're thinking of taking me back if I can quit doing spike," he quickly explained.

Shawn raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you sell your guitar for spike money?"

Iggy nodded. "Yea, but they've got one I can use. It's just that, I think it's rather hypocritical of them telling me to cut back on the drugs when their all smoking twenty spliffs a gig."

Shawn smiled slightly, "Yea, but they didn't try to secretly pawn all the band equipment to buy A, did they?"

Iggy narrowed his eyes. "Shut up."

Zim could barely suppress shouting "stu-pid stink-beast" at the blond human.

Iggy continued with a wave of a hand. "Anyway, all the greats where addicted to something. I mean, look at Joey Ramone or Nikki Sixx, they took shite more then I do and they all became famous."

Zim was suddenly confused. If what Iggy was saying was true, then humans seemed to admire and respect those that committed illegal acts such as this. He raised a non-existent eyebrow at this. What sort of psychotic culture calibrated its criminals? He rolled his eyes. Humans. There wasn't any other race in the universe so amazingly stupid. He bet that these famous people weren't even very tall.

He snorted quietly. "Barbarians."

Iggy looked over to the Irken. "What was that?"

"Oh," Zim quickly covered, "Nothing."

-------------------

Anyone else think those last few lines there are really…what's the word…contrasting? Ironic? Hypocritical?

Either way they're funny.

Ok, there's some things I wanted to have in this but it looks like it's gonna have to go into the next chapter. Namely, the Bunny Girl. She was meant to 'arrive' in this but at least this way I have more space to write about her/Zim's reaction/Zim taking drugs summore in the next chapter.

That's right kiddies; I'm selling out to 'romance'. Hate me. BUT as usual this isn't real love! Its drug fuelled hallucination love! In-fact, its more accurate to say it's more like primal attraction then love…love don't even come to the equation.

Ok, names. The 'Thunders Hotel' is from the legend Johnny Thunders, one of THEE greatest punk rockers ever and one of the most hardcore heroin addicts in the rock 'n' roll world. A massive shame he's dead, he only ever produced one album but there are still a few great live albums. R.I.P Johnny.

Vega, from Pulp Fiction's Vincent Vega, there's a scene where he takes heroin so I though, meh, why not?

Iggy...look do I even need to say where that came from? For the very dim of you it's the man whose music practically made this fic, the one, the only, Iggy Pop.

So, R&R o'loyal reader! P.S This was all written in one day…


	3. Bunny Girls and Lou Reed

Invader Sideos turns to his latest victim and slowly says: Well, don't expect much from me for a few days, I'm officialy cut off the net.Toupdate anything I'm goingto have tothink of a waytomove my work from my PC to this one (which issn't mine!)I'm wondering weather to make this chapter songfic using Velvet Underground's 'Heroin' and change some of the words to make it more...relative. I mean, it's a great song but it doesn't have the same feel as Venus In Furs (same band). Lyrics vs. feel...I'm gonna have to go with lyrics. You really have to hear Venus In Furs to understand it.

So, I suppose I should warn of descriptions of drug taking or whatever but I didn't in the other chapters so...yea. Screw it. Also I'm changing some of the words in the song to make it more 'Zim'- ppropriate. I suppose my biggest warning is that of the last Oc I'm introducing. Prepare for the might that is Zim's love interest!

Written to Sid Vicious - My Way, Velvet Underground - Venus In Furs and Heroin (the song)

I don't own Zim, and Velvet Underground own Heroin (the song)

--------------------

The old dirty clock on the wall struck quarter to twelve. Zim sat on a blanket covered mattress with his coat wrapped around him. The room was covered in a strange tenseness with the three drug addicts sitting in polar opposite corners of the room, only moving to scavenge something to eat or get something to drink from the kitchen. The reason for this strange, nervous atmosphere was because they were waiting. Precisely half an hour ago Vega had announced that he was going out to get the "Delivery." They had all fallen silent. Without even asking Zim knew what he meant.

And so, they waited.

Outside it still snowed on as it had been doing for most of the night. On the odd occasion one could here a car drive on the road not too far from the derelict hotel, breaking the quiet before it faded away into obscurity again. Other sounds of the night echoed in the room, a cat singing to the moon, a raccoon knocking over a trash can, or the rats scurrying in the rooms around the junkie hideout.

Zim's claws were digging right into his palms and a terrible numbness had sunk into his legs and arms. He wrapped his coat around him tighter, trying to dispel the freezing coldness he felt across his back and face. He looked around and watched as Iggy slowly scratched along his wrist to his elbow, then cringed at himself before warbling on to Shawn about how his band almost toured with Mystik Spiral last year. Then he looked at Shawn who was just sitting, arms resting across his knees, on the wooden floor with a moth bitten red and green blanket wrapped around him. Zim watched carelessly as the teenager whimpered quietly and wrapped himself tighter, burying his face into his arms.

Zim, who was sitting in much the same manner, followed suite. His body was screaming so loud for the impending fix that it almost physically hurt but he knew he only had to wait a little while longer.

Zim slowly thought about the last few weeks, the way his life had almost totally changed in one night. Being abandoned by his Empire, taking that first hit and then swiftly falling into a routine of nightly usage. He remembered when Dib tried to help him and how Zim had cleverly outsmarted his old opponent. He wondered how Gir was doing, whether he was destroying everything in the base or whether Dib had gone to look after him. He then wondered about the Dib-human, was he searching for him or had he given up on Zim completely? Even more confusing was that Zim found himself actually caring if Dib was still after him. He remembered the time when Dib had momentarily given up being Zim's tormentor and his life had ground to a halt. Slowly Zim pondered, was Dib really such an important part of his life?

A sudden knocking at the door of the room brought him, and the others, back into reality. Almost instantly the primal, hungry look of an addict close to his release entered Zim's eyes, as it did to everyone in the room.

Iggy was the first on his feet, followed closely by Zim, then Shawn. Iggy went straight to the door leaving Shawn and Zim to stand, waiting with an intense impatience in the main room. Zim heard Iggy pull the door open with such force he almost yanked the catch off of it.

However, when Zim heard Iggy, almost sadly, say, "Oh, it's only you," his shoulders sank.

Down the corridor he listened half heartedly as the door was shut, the catch drawn back, and it was reopened. However, his interest was slightly re-kindled when a females voice sarcastically answered, "And it's nice to see you too, Iggy."

Shawn sighed and sat down, re-wrapping the blanket around himself while Zim went back to his mattress, this time leaning back against the wall with a boarded up window above him.

He closed his eyes as a shiver ran across his spine and the annoyance of the under-skin itching began in his arms. He listened in silence as Iggy and the unknown female walked into the room.

He heard Shawn shift where he was sitting and say "Hi, Lilith."

However, when he opened his eyes too look at this new arrival, he felt his heart, or the Irken equivalent of one, skip several beats.

Standing at the front of the corridor was a girl dressed in a zip up black hoody and dark blue, almost skin-tight jeans and with large black boots. She had no makeup, apart from enhanced eyelashes, which only highlighted her natural good looks, and on her hands she wore a pare of black gloves.

However, it was not the clothes she was wearing that caught Zim's attention, it was the fact that she was the bunny girl. Her dark blue eyes sparkled in the dim light and the bunny ears flopped backwards from her head. However she had changed slightly, her skin was like Zims, sickly green, and she too had dark rings around her eyes. Her already slim body looked skinnier and she seemed tired and cold.

Zim was unsure how he felt right now. Part of him was shocked, very shocked, at the fact that something from his mind was now standing in front of him chatting casually with Iggy. Another part of him was on max alert about the fact that an undisguised, PAK-less, Irken was fully exposed to humans, who didn't seem to notice.

However there was something else inside him that was also fully awake. Something utterly alien to him, something that he knew he shouldn't be feeling. At that moment some other, more primitive hunger called out to him. From deep somewhere inside him he felt a new need arise.

A picture came into his mind; it was when he was back in the ninth grade of Skool. The class had been shown a video of human reproduction. He remembered how he had watched in absolute and utter horror, as had an awful lot of the class, as they saw the sick and disturbing way humans mated. Except as he remembered the video, the images changed. His minds eye watched as the human male became thinner, his hair replaced by two antennas, as he became Zim. The other figure changed, the female also became green skinned and Irken, except with blue eyes and bunny ears...

"NO!" Zim shouted, and his hands flew to the sides of his head. His eyes shut as he gripped his skull tightly, trying to block out the wrong, defective, thought. He couldn't have, he didn't, there was no way he could have just committed such a heinous thoughtcrime.

From across the room he heard the others turn suddenly and heard the bunny girl, apparently named Lilith, jump in shock.

There was a silence as Zim took his hands slowly from his head and look at the others with nervous eyes.

The bunny girl however, was nowhere to be seen, instead his eyes widened as in her place stood a skinny human. Instead of ill green skin it was a deathly pale white and instead of two back-flopping bunny ears was a head of jet black hair which was tied into two, bunny ear-like, pony tails.

The eyes stayed the same, dark rimmed and with extended black lashes, except the Irken eyes were replaced with human eyes, though the same dark blue colour remained. She looked around the same age as Shawn, the exact same height as the bunny girl, and with strikingly similar looks.

Zim sat in silence, looking first in wonder at the changed female, and then to the others, who were all staring at Zim with worried and shocked faces.

All he could manage was a short, "Errm..."

Shawn looked to Lilith, "Don't worry about him, he's Zim, he does stuff like that."

However, she walked over to the shocked, and by now quite scared, Irken. She leaned over and put forth a gloved hand. "Hi, I'm Lilith."

Zim looked from the hand to her smiling face in quick succession before cautiously taking it. "Zim," He said quickly, almost too quickly. He was internally confused, why could he not talk properly all of a sudden?

"So," She said sitting down next to Zim, which greatly unnerved him, "How come we have you in our humble abode?"

Shawn spoke for him, which was good as Zim simply couldn't get his mouth to form any real words. "He saved my life." And he proceeded to tell the tale of how Zim systematically took down two armed gangsters.

By the time he was finished Lilith seemed rather impressed. She looked to a now much more calmed down, but still suspicious, Zim. "Did you really do that?"

"Yes," he replied slowly. He didn't really like the way this woman was sitting so close to him, it was making his skin itchy. He was still wondering what had happened before. Was this female really an Irken? Did she somehow put her disguise on when he looked away and force the other humans to forget about it, or was the whole thing all in his imagination? After all, she did look remarkably like the Irken in his drug visions.

His thoughts were interrupted when there was another knock at the door. Everyone in the room froze as Vega's deep voice floated down the filthy corridor. "Hey, guys, I'm back with some treats."

Iggy was at the door faster then a starved lion on meat. Zim got up, almost knocking over Lilith in the process, and drawing out all his money from his PAK. Shawn dived into his backpack, also drawing out money and Lilith, once she sat back up, drew out a wad of cash from her hoody pocket.

Iggy ran back into the room and walked up to the kitchen counter, Shawn stood behind as did Lilith. Zim realised that they were forming something of an orderly queue, and so he took his place at the back. All eyes were on Vega as the Mexican walked into the room, carrying a very out of place black briefcase. He went behind the counter and looked up, pausing at the stares the junkies were giving him.

"You know," He stated slowly, "every time I deal this to you guys you get that look. And it's God-damn spooky, man."

Iggy quickly cut in. "Just give us the drugs, man, then you won't have to look at us."

Zim noticed how his voice had changed; it was no longer confident and easy as it was before. It had become more demanding, harder, and hungrier. He quietly wondered if he was like that when about to get his fix.

"Fine, whatever, I'm not the one killing myself," Vega casually said while opening the briefcase. He waited while Iggy placed a large wad of bills on the counter before reaching in and drawing out a small vial of green liquid.

Zims veins exploded at the site of the drug. He couldn't take his eyes off it. It was as if the veil was calling to him, demanding his utter and complete attention. If he had bothered to look at the others he would have see the exact same hungry, dangerously attentive look.

Vega reached below the counter and drew out a needle, then handed them both over to the now shaking Iggy, who snatched them and quickly went over to the chair. Zim forced himself not to watch. He knew if he did he would probably end up diving on him and ripping the drug from Iggy's hand in order to feed it to himself.

The line quickly moved until it was Zim at the counter slamming down the money and watching with an unnerving look as Vega got a needle and a veil of aswermitus. As he went to take the vial from Vega's hand the man closed it, causing Zim to look up in panic and anger.

"Sweet dreams," he sneered and he slowly re-opened his hand. Zim snatched up the vial and gave the man a last glance of pure hate before going back to his mattress.

He immediately sat down and threw off his coat, then preformed the ritual that he had become so accustomed to.

----

I don't know just where I'm going

But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can

'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man

When I put a spike into my vein

----

He rolled up his left sleeve, revealing the deeply bruised part of his upper arm. He winced slightly as he let the syringe puncture his skin, then watched with gritted teeth as his green blood swirled into the drug, mixing in with the substance. It looked odd, a mist of green in the sea of red. Then he slowly pumped the A into his body, watching with fascinated eyes as the substance disappeared into his arm. The moment it was gone he took the needle out. By the time it had dropped onto the floor beside him, Zim's eyes had already rolled back and closed as it sunk in. His mouth opened as he breathed out slowly in relief. Finally, the internal screaming had been silenced.

----

And I'll tell ya, things aren't quite the same

When I'm rushing on my run

And I feel just like Tallest' son

And I guess that I just don't know

And I guess that I just don't know

----

He fell back onto the cloud as the feeling rushed though him. Pleasure. Pure, unadulterated pleasure. The feeling of a great release, nothing mattered anymore. He couldn't care less about anything he had cared about when he was back in the real world. Dib, Gir, the thoughtcrime, it all faded into nothing, it all seemed so petty now. When he re-opened his eyes he did so with a great big grin of happiness.

----

I have made the big decision

I'm gonna try to nullify my life

'Cause when the blood begins to flow

When it shoots up the dropper's neck

----

He sat up slowly and looked around him. He was lying on a cloud which was floating slowly towards a very dark looking castle. For a flicker of a moment he hesitated, nothing was usually dark in the dreams. But then suddenly he didn't care, in-fact, he felt the need to go to this castle because he knew that in there, was the bunny girl.

----

When I'm closing in on death

And you can't help me now, you guys

And all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk

You can all go take a walk

----

As the cloud he was on passed the castle he jumped, or rather glided, onto a balcony. The balcony was long, and lead into a room which was hidden by large red curtains. As he walked towards the room the curtains moved and flapped in a none-existent wind. They reared up, forming hands and waved to him. Zim casually waved back.

----

And I guess that I just don't know

And I guess that I just don't know

----

He walked into the room and found it to be a rather lavish, but darkly lit, bedroom. Across the walls were Irken-style weapons and large banners with weird symbols that were always changing and moving. Candles were the only source of light and it all reminded Zim of something he had seen when he researched the time of earth known as the middle ages. Except it had an Irken Imperial edge to it, the colours of dark purples and blood reds where everywhere. And the metal walls had blobs of glowing greens that swam like the inside of a lava lamp.

----

I wish that I was born a thousand years ago

I wish that I'd sail the darkened seas

On a great big clipper ship

Going from this land here to that

In a sailor's suit and cap

----

As he walked around the room, looking at the weird weapons that hung on the wall, some he knew from reality, some he didn't, he heard a giggle from the main bed. He snapped round, a smile growing quickly on his face. Zim could see through the pink curtains that she was there.

Lying on her side on the bed, she seemed to be wearing a strange costume. It was black, and almost see through, but it was decorated with strange patterns that covered the most revealing parts of her body, while at the same time enhancing her figure. Around her neck and shoulders was an odd red brace that Zim had seen on prisoners to stop them from moving their heads. However, on her it seemed wide enough to allow her to turn her head to look at him.

----

Away from the big city

Where a man can not be free

Of all of the evils of this town

And of himself, and those around

Oh, and I guess that I just don't know

Oh, and I guess that I just don't know

----

He knew what he was doing was a crime, a crime worthy of instant untried death, but that didn't stop Zim from crawling slowly onto the bed.

It didn't stop his mind from exploding with hundreds of different thoughtcrimes, all centred around the Irken girl lying on the bed in front of him. He crawled over, a primal look in his eyes, until he was right over her. She smiled at him and slowly drew a hand across his cheek, her very touch lighting a feeling within Zim quite unlike anything he had ever felt before.

----

Aswermitus, be the death of me

Aswermitus, it's my wife and it's my life

Because a mainer to my vein

Leads to a center in my head

And then I'm better off and dead

----

He fell sideways onto the bed, the strange material so soft against his skin. His eyes closed and he lay right on his back. He also ran two hands across his head, pulling down his antenna. He lay there for a moment, basking in the euphoria and bliss of the room and the bunny girl at his side.

Then he heard something whisper into his ear. "Lust."

He looked casually at the girl who was brushing her hand back and forth across his chest; she had never talked before, so why did her voice sound so familiar?

"You are changing Zim, your mind is changing." Her voice washed over Zim, making that new feeling within him grow more. "You're improving."

----

Because when the spike begins to flow

I really don't care anymore

About all the Jim-Jim's in this town

And all the politicians makin' crazy sounds

And everybody puttin' everybody else down

And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds

----

He watched as the bunny girl moved closer to him, lying to the left of him, while propping herself up on her elbow. She leaned forward, putting her face so very close to his. Zim felt something raging inside him and more traitorous images flashed though his mind. She whispered in that voice, the one that sounded so familiar to him. The one that filled him with this new, pleasurable, hunger.

"Zim," she whispered, "you're so special, and you're going to be one of a kind."

Zim turned to look at the bunny girl, staring right into those sparkling dark blue eyes. Then, for the first time ever in the drug trips, he grabbed her head and kissed her first. The feeling inside him finally had a name, lust.

----

'Cause when the spike begins to flow

Then I really don't care anymore

Ah, when the aswermitus is in my blood

And that blood is in my head

Then thank Tallest that I'm as good as dead

Then thank your God that I'm not aware

And thank Tallest that I just don't care

And I guess I just don't know

And I guess I just don't know

--------------------

Oh dear...I'm going to be crucified. So yea...ermm, nothing to say here much. MEGA long chapter but only because I didn't go right into the song.

Lilith, first wife of Adam. Walked out of Eden by choice and later became the mother of all vampires (literally). The name sounds evil, which is of course the point of my choosing. The character herself I'm still deciding on, I'll just have to see how my mind types her out. Hopefully she will turn out good and not horrible.

Oh, the whole trip thing needs some explanation...I combined the idea's from Venus In Furs, which is a song about S&M btw, with the Heroin song.

Speaking of songs, and therefore bands, who can guess where 'Mystik Spiral' is from? Here's a hint. You'll never find it on DVD despite is huge popularity…and it's from Daria. Woops.

Anyway, I got a few rather good ideas for the next chapter, some your gonna hate, some your gonna laugh at. Hopefully you won't be disgusted enough at me to stop reading because the next chapter is REEEAAALLY good, really, I loves it. It ties up where Mini-moose and Skooge are!

R&R, its makes you happy, it makes me happy, it makes us all happy.

Oh, and I'd like you all to give a clap to my editor Dayinel, who really should be thanked more for her dedication to helping me make these things you people call 'FanFics'.


	4. The Morning After

Invader Sideos just keeps on inventing new ways to intro these things: Yup, so...stuffs a gonna happen here. Yep. Cool. Chillin'. Hip-hop-happanin'. I need sugar...now. Blegh.

Righto, I'm gonna check if I got English homework, and then do this. I never said I would do the homework...bah, screw grades. Ok, this chapter gonna be about shiz...N Keef! That's right kids; Keef is back, with a boyfriend! Sorta…

Anyway, here I go.

Oh, and sorry for the long update wait. I went on holiday, then my editor went on holiday and etc, etc, you know how it is.

Written to Iggy and the Stoodges - Lust For Life and Search And Destroy. Also NOFX - Drugs Are Good (And when you do 'em, people think that you're cool!)

I don't own Zim bla, bla, bla.

--------------------

Zim's eyes snapped open, before closing again quickly in reaction to the bright winter sun. Slowly he reopened them, giving them a chance to adjust to the morning. He had been out for some time, as was the usual with the drug. However, the Irken body needs no sleep, so the moment the trip ended he would be active again. The sunlight streamed thought the windows, giving some natural light to the dank, filthy drug den.

Outside the world had woke up hours ago, a quick glance to the clock on the kitchen wall told Zim it was at least nine in the morning. The street outside was still quiet, but in the distance Zim could hear the sound of humans going about their daily business, also he could hear the faint sounds of the jingly-jingling of Christmas carols. Or at least the automated shop and advertising ones.

He lifted himself up onto one elbow and looked around at the others. Shawn was lying on a mattress in the far corner of the room, still asleep and snoring quietly. Iggy was slumped on the haggard leather chair, his arms hanging over the sides and a now empty syringe still held loosely in his hand.

However, he couldn't see Lilith or Vega. He sat straight up and his squeedlyspooch rumbled. He rubbed a hand across his belly and, with a wry smile, wondered when he had last eaten something.

He sighed and backed up slightly so he could lean back against the wall. He looked up and rubbed his face slowly with his hands, moving from his cheeks to across his antenna and to the back of his head.

It took a moment of staring into space before he realised that his antenna were uncovered.

He jumped to his feet and stared wildly back at the place were he had been lying. After a moment of searching with his eyes he jumped onto the mattress, throwing off the blanket and almost tearing the thing apart in his panicking quest to get his wig back.

A sudden squeak brought his attention to the kitchen. He slowly crept round the counter corner on his hands and knees, being very careful to avoid the junk and needles, to come face to face with a rat. A rat with a black wig in its yellow teeth.

Zim and the rat stared at each other, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Zim narrowed his eyes, which thankfully still had their contacts on, and the rat replied likewise.

The room stood still, even the sound from the world outside seem to die away slightly. If the room had tumbleweed now would have been its opportune moment to blow across the dirty battleground that the Irken and rat had created between them.

Then the rat's tail twitched and Zim lunged forward. Had he been on his feet he may have actually caught the small filthy animal, but, as he was not, his claw closed just were the rat used to be. He watched in shock as the mammal darted to the other side of the kitchen and into a large black crack in the wall. Zim was after it in a second, ramming his arm into the crack and trying to grab at anything he could get his claw around.

However, he couldn't get anything, the rat had stolen his hair. Zim's face twisted in rage, he was already on his feet and kicking the wall with such force that it actually created a small crater.

"CURSE YOU, RAT-THING! CUUURRRSE YOOOU!" He howled in pure anger. He even grabbed his antenna and pulled them down, making him scream even more.

A moan from behind him made him quickly drop his fury as Shawn turned over in his ragged bed and drowsily said "Shut up, Zim..." before he resumed his quiet snoring.

Zim decided that now would be a good time to leave, at least before everyone woke up and spotted the wig-less alien in the kitchen.

He was out the door and down into the main lobby in under three minutes, he would have to keep to the back streets and alleyways to avoid detection if he was to get back to his home in time. So caught up in his thoughts was Zim that as he ran though the main hall he didn't notice the thin human carrying several Bloaties Pizza Hog boxes until he ran right into them.

"Agh!"

"Ow!"

They both fell onto the floor with a heavy thump and the pizza boxes fell about around them. Zim immediately jumped back up onto his feet. He quickly rubbed his forehead where they had collided and glared at the human who was still sitting on the floor also rubbing its head.

"What do you think you're doing walking into Zim?" However, he fell silent as he saw who it was.

Lilith rapidly massaged her forehead and glared back at him. "I was getting breakfast, if you must know."

Zim suddenly found that he couldn't speak again. He wanted to reply in a witty, yet hopefully insulting way, but his mouth refused to make any words, only a static sounding "Errr..."

She stood up, still rubbing the sore spot on her head and looked at the bags around her. She gave the now rather uncomfortable looking Zim another glare and sighed. "Give me a hand, will you? Surly you're not in that much of a hurry to get out of this dump as to not have something to eat?"

Zim finally managed to say something; "Ok."

Lilith raised an eyebrow at him. "Ok what?"

Zim's antenna rose up as the weird feeling he had felt when he had first seen her started to stir. His mind was racing, just what the hell was going on? Why was he acting so strange around this human female? He needed time to properly analyse the situation.

"I-I gotta go," he stuttered out and with that he darted past her, out the open door and down the street.

Lilith sighed angrily as she watched the sickly green boy run past the closed sex shops. "Men."

---

The street was alive with people, all wrapped up warm for the winter holidays. Children with parents walked the busy streets, pointing out toys they wanted in the shop windows and breaking down into tears and tantrums when they were dragged away from them. The snow, once white and fresh from the sky, had again become as dirty and trodden as the night before. Cars were backed up in pre-Christmas traffic jams, as the humans were all eager to get presents and Christmas decorations for the impending holiday.

Zim walked down the street slowly, being careful to avoid the human worm-babies that massed around him. On his right were the filthy humans and the road, which was filled with pollution spewing cars. On his left were an endless supply of shops, all decorated for the holiday season.

He had tried to keep to the alleys, but as he had come out onto the street he had noticed that no one else seemed to notice that he had antenna.

Zim had decided to take the chance to find somewhere which supplied waffles and coffee and, before any withdrawal nausea kicked in, feed himself enough to last the day.

He walked, hands in the pockets of his long flowing coat with his head hung low. He was deep in thought, his mind racing about the encounter he had just had with Lilith. Each time he re-played the scene it came out differently, one with them having a civil conversation and him walking off, one with him even apologising and walking off, one with him getting rather angry and walking off. Yet why had it turned out the way it had done?

He narrowed his eyes more at this, trying to scrape an answer from his head. It wasn't lust, this new and admittedly exciting addition to the bunny girl that had emerged last night. A small smile came to his mouth at the memory of last night's trip. He knew it was wrong, very wrong, but as long as he didn't act on those experiences in reality then the Irken police could do nothing to stop him. As long as he didn't admit to them he couldn't be found out, to admit to a thoughcrime required a great sense of self discipline and bravery, two things Zim never really had much of.

Suddenly a sound to his left brought him round; he stopped and turned to look. It was a shop selling TV's, and they were all turned onto the earth news. Usually Zim would have paid no attention, but what the Japanese looking female newscaster was saying had quickly caught his interest. "It seems that a dark cloud has appeared over this season's holiday, a cloud named aswermitus."

Zim's antenna perked in interest and he turned to fully face the window, his eyes locked on the largest screen. The female continued. "The drug, arriving here illegally from South America, was at first predicted to fail because of the high street price. However, the experts did not count on the growing number of disenchanted youth, especially the white middle class who could easily afford the drug. The numbers of users has shot up, nationally and globally. It has already taken over heroin as the most addictive substance and it is claimed by experts that just one hit of aswermitus can create a permanent daily addiction. This has already caused the drug to be classed a schedule one drug, and has been equally classed throughout the world."

Zim had to chuckle; humans and their silly governmental systems.

"The government, along with governments from across the world, including the UK, the European Union, the USSR, India and China have already taken co-operated steps to strike down on the makers and dealers of this life destroying drug."

Zim chuckled again and began to walk away; things like this would never happen in the Irken Empire. When he got accepted back he would be sure to tell his Tallest about the weakness the humans have for recreational substances.

As he grinned evilly on this thought he spotted a small, quiet looking diner with a sign outside advertising a breakfast menu, complete with coffee and waffles. Zim quietly hissed a quick, "Yes," and began to make his way towards it.

A minute later he was sitting in the shop window seat, a steaming coffee and a plate of wonderful looking waffles in-front of him. Zim had learned a small trick when it came to the way his diet now worked. He had quickly realised that the best time to get something to eat when taking aswermitus was directly after you woke up from a trip. There was always a good hour or so where there was no, or very little, withdrawal.

That meant that he could eat and drink without wanting to throw up immediately after. This trick was the single reason why he hadn't wasted totally away.

As Zim slowly chewed on the second of his five waffles he once again thought about the girl that had knocked him over this morning. What was it about her that kept her in his mind? He knew it had something to do with the bunny girl. Maybe it was because they looked so alike. That must be it, he slowly concluded, because of their similar looks he was confusing her with his own personal desire object.

He almost dropped his fork in wonderment at this new revelation. "All I need to do," he obliviously said to himself, "Is remind myself that she is not the bunny girl! Easy!"

He smiled, impressed at his own brilliance. "I am so amazing sometimes I even scare myself," and he ended with a short laugh before taking another sip of his coffee.

"Now," he mused as he put down his coffee, "all I need to do is figure out why I act so weird around her and not around the bunny girl..."

He sat like that for a while, quickly finishing his food before leaning into the booth chair and gazing out the window. He watched casually as the humans went about preparing for this annual event they so horribly named Christmas. He chuckled as he remembered the time when he almost took over the earth on that day. The memory brought back the image of Mini-moose and for a second he almost felt sad. Mini-moose had been an impossibly loyal assistant, but a few years back he had caught virus in his CPU and eventually had shut down beyond repair. Zim scowled, never again would he use non-Imperial computer boards to build a robot minion. It had also been around that time Skoodge had left. He had never agreed with Zim's self-height-engineering and he had quickly refused Zim's offer to make him taller. He had also found a job at Devastis training the new recruits. Many ex-invaders took this rout after conquering a planet. Zim paused for a second; he was one of the few invaders still to conquer his planet. His eyes narrowed in thought. In fact he was sure he was the only invader left to conquer his planet…

A shout brought Zim back into reality, "Hey, Hey Zim is that you?"

Zim turned quickly, hoping that it wasn't who he though it was, but it was indeed. "Keef," he groaned and rolled his eyes.

Keef, like Dib and the other humans in his class, had aged. He had become a slim teenager, not tall like Dib, but still taller then Zim. He still had those bright green eyes and the head of curly red hair. He was wearing green tinted jeans and baseball shoes with his trademark sky blue shirt with the rainbow logo. However, because of the winter, he was also wearing an earth brown coat and a rainbow striped scarf with black gloves. In his hands he was holding a few shopping bags, obviously filled with Christmas shopping.

Keef had sort of stuck with Zim and Dib throughout Skool and into Hi-Skool. He was never a permanent companion, but he would talk to them whenever he could. Zim and Dib had both at first detested his constant state of happiness and never ending attempts to get them to stop arguing, but eventually they had gotten used to it. It wasn't like he was ever going to win anyway.

Keef hopped up to the booth Zim was in and sat down opposite him, greeting the Irken with a huge grin. Zim couldn't help but roll his eyes again as Keef placed his shopping bags under the table.

The teenager looked back to Zim and cheerily said "Hey buddy, what'ch been up to? I haven't seen you in a while."

Zim decided to ignore the question. "What are you doing here?"

Keef continued without a flicker of hurt, that was the great thing about insulting Keef, no matter what you said to the boy it always went right over his head. "Oh I'm doing some shopping for Christmas, you know? Getting presents for my brother, my mum, dad, boyfriend."

Zim didn't disguise the disgust on his face at the mention of Keef's boyfriend. Last year Keef had finally admitted what everyone already knew, that he was gay. The news hadn't shocked anyone except Zim, who didn't think such a thing was possible.

"So," Keef leaned forward onto the table. "Are you getting presents as well?"

"No," Zim answered rather blankly.

There was a moment of silence where Keef waited to see if Zim was going to say any more. When it became apparent he was not Keef decided to try a new line of conversation. "Hey Zim, you don't look well."

Zim lifted his cup of coffee to his mouth and gave a short, nasty laugh. "You don't say."

"No, I do say," Keef replied, as again the insult whooshed over his head. "It's just that, there was a rumour going round Hi-Skool the last few days."

Zim drank a bit more of his coffee and put it casually down again, he knew what was coming. "Saying what?"

Keef laughed nervously and lent back again, "Well I know its silly but they were saying that you where...ermm..."

"Taking drugs?" Zim helpfully offered while linking his hands and casting his most malicious smile.

Keef, who had suddenly found the table very interesting, now looked back to Zim, a relived smile on his face. "Yea, stupid, huh?"

Zim smiled even more, making Keef momentarily lose his constant happiness. "Yes, stupid."

Suddenly Zim began to get up from where he was sitting. "Well Keef, it's been horrible and all, but I've gotta go now."

"Oh," Keef sadly replied, but he instantly cheered up again. "Well ok, Zim. Cya later and happy Christmas."

"Yea," Zim said as he walked off. "Merry jingly, stink-beast."

--------------------

Woop! I LOVE this chapter! Its reeks of style, good writing and coolness! Really, I think this could be classed as one of my best chapters ever...

R.I.P Mini Moose, you would have been here if I had taken the time to properly put you in E.A. Same to you Skooge. Actually Skooge was meant to appear in this near the end. But as I'm writing the end now and he doesn't seem to be there, he's not gonna make an appearance.

I think I got Zim in PERFECT character here...well maybe not the beginning but the street onwards is great Zim-ness. And of course Keef, I had the idea a few days ago and I almost dismissed it totally but it sorta grew on me and in the end I just though "Why not?" Teenage Keef, I hope you guys like it.

Oh, the whole 'USSR' thing comes from The Grim adventures of Billy and Mandy. In their world the USSR still exists, which is why it's also here (I figure Gaz and Mandy are friends since reading Bleedman's fan comic, thus they exist in the same world) I'm actually going to feature politics and news a bit more later on somewhere. It's something that I seem to feature a lot in my fics, people watching the news...

R&R please…or throw muffins of flaming anger at me, I'm quite hungry.

P.S. Anyone notice that Zim left Keef with the bill?


	5. Gooey Details

Invader Sideos, in De Vinci style (that's back to front and upside down) writes: Well I'm doomed. In two days I've gotta do an English A-Level exam and I haven't revised a jolt. Why? Cos I always end up writing this instead. Damm love of writing/fan fiction. I can go to a revision class tomorrow and fool myself into thinking I've done revision therefore I'm going to pass.

Yea, I'll do that.

What to have here what to have...Smash of inspiration from Nightclubbing! WOOP!

Oh, and just a bit of a more modern update onto that little A-Level thing. I passed! With a C! It could have been a B but I didn't finish the last exam-bit-thing…ahh well.

Written to NOFX - Stickin' In My Eye and general NOFX. There good for your health. Also a little dabbling of Guns 'n' Roses (Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games...) and a healthy dose of Iggy Pop - Nightclubbing.

I don't own Zim...but I own my Oc's! Yeah, WOO!

--------------------

Snow swirled down from the grey skies above, a slight wind blowing against the snowflakes and scattering them about. The sun showed it was now late in the day, warning the inhabitants on earth that it would soon be night. It had become rather cold as Zim walked out of the city and back into the suburbs. Luckily, he had managed to memorise the rout back to the hotel, and if he hurried he could be there by at least eleven that night. However, it had taken him a while to remember where his house was. He had noticed the litter around him decreasing, not much, but it was a bit better then the city. Zim had returned to an empty home, Gir having left a message that, once Zim had read it several times, told him that Dib had came back and took him.

Zim wasn't sure what to feel at this, as there was no message of any sort from the human. What did it mean? Was Dib giving up on him, or was he in a hurry and didn't have time? Or was it some sort of attempt to get Zim to walk to Dib's and demand why he didn't seem to care? In the end Zim had decided to brush it off when he felt his arms and shoulders itch. The withdrawal was always good for distracting him from things.

He had taken the opportunity to set the security on high and gather close to over four thousand dollars before he left. Also he packed a few essentials, such as some edible food and drink, and had a shower in paste. He figured he would be gone for a while. Lastly he bandaged his left arm, right over where he punctured his skin. His arm had been aching for some time, mostly because of all the injections. They had created a large permanent bruise and Zim hoped by putting a bandage round he could ease the aching slightly.

In his mind's eye he watched himself from afar as he gave his home a last look around before closing the door. He figured he would be gone for a few weeks and so it was best to check that everything was shut down or on stand-by for when he came back. Mentally he dramatised the moment by having himself stand at the door looking in, before closing it and engulfing the house in darkness. In reality he had just walked out without looking back, he was in too much of a hurry to get back to his beloved drug.

Only about an hour later did he slap himself for forgetting to get a new wig.

Zim had been walking steadily for most of the day. His feet ached, as did his whole body, but he knew that by the end of this day he wouldn't care at all. A true smile grew on his face as he thought about what was waiting for him at the end of the night: pleasure, peace, bliss and the bunny girl. Right now he was in the stage where it was a simple calling, no extremities yet. His squeedlyspooch was churning, making him wish he could just throw up what little had had eaten that day, and he was unknowingly clenching and unclenching his shaking hands.

The sun in the distance was slowly setting and the street lights were quietly humming on. The snow seemed to have finally stopped, but the freezing light wind had not. The world was at that limbo where the day and the night meet, the day creeping away from the night's ominous offensive.

The snow that covered the world now stopped its sparkling, as there was no moon for it to reflect that night. Zim looked up to see the sky turn a blood red, casting a strange orange-ness across the street around him. The litter and dirt that was so typical of the city he knew all blended into this odd colour. Orange was not a colour seen much in the Irken Empire; it was not a naturally occurring colour in Irk's sunsets or within much of its nature. The same went for blues and yellows, so for Zim it had been a surprise to see these colours appear to be a very common feature of Earth's natural state. Irk had always been blessed with beautiful purples, reds, greens and pinks, colours he had always felt defined the Irken people.

Zim chuckled, orange and blue were not colours of a warrior race, why did it seem that everything about this planet paled in comparison to the majesty of Irk?

His wondering was interrupted when he came round a street corner to face a twenty-four-seven store. A poster in the brightly lit window advertised cherry brain freezy and suddenly Zim really wanted one. He had been walking for a while, after all, and since the drink was made from nothing but frozen, and almost totally pollutant free, water and copious amounts of sugar he could drink it without fear of having any serious reactions from it. It might even settle his squeedlyspooch.

He quickly crossed the road to get to the entrance of the store, but he stopped stock still as he saw who walked out.

Holding a magazine with the name 'GamePro' and a picture of some guy shooting some flaming pig on the cover in her left hand was Gaz. She looked intensely at the cover, and then reached into her top pocket and calmly drew out a cigarette. She lit it, inhaling deeply before taking it from her mouth and blowing out a breath of smoke. Then, still holding the cigarette in her right hand, she went back to looking at the cover and began to walk past Zim, as if she didn't even notice him.

However, after about three steps past him she stopped and looked up from her cover reading, then a calculated second later she turned around.

Gaz still looked exactly like she always had done. She had a black dress with grey sleeves, pink and purple stockings and her ever present skull necklace. The only changes were her knee length goth boots which were black and adorned with metal clips and other decorations. Also was the more recently acquired black trench coat, which was in a much better state then Dib's. She was smaller then Zim by a few inches, but that didn't stop her from being greatly feared by him, Dib and pretty much all the Hi-Skool.

She brushed a stray strand of her purple hair away from her permanently pissed off looking face and opened her squinting lids enough to show her dark brown eyes.

Zim and Gaz stared coldly at each other for a chilling moment before she smirked. "Well, well, well," she said quickly but mockingly, "if it isn't Houdini himself." And she took another toke of her cigarette.

Zim's antenna cocked in confusion. "Who is this Houdini? I am Zim."

Gaz shook her head disapprovingly and shifted her weight, placing her magazine hand on her hip. "Never mind. So, Dib's been acting rather oddly since the school gates. He hasn't left his room apart from when he went to go get Gir. Anything you would admit to maybe? You two haven't had a lovers tiff or something, have you?"

Zim scowled and recoiled. "That's disgusting."

Gaz crossed her arms and again smoked a bit more of her cigarette, and then she looked at him with pitiless eyes. "Only as disgusting as what you've been dreaming about lately."

Zim's eyes widened in shock and his antenna fainted onto his head. "W-what?"

The human furrowed her brow. "I said answer the question, idiot. What's gone on?"

Zim shook his head, it was just the withdrawal getting to him. He hesitated for a moment before deciding that the best approach would be to tell her. He knew that if he lied she wouldn't believe him, if he ran off she would catch him and beat the answer out of him and even if by some miracle he escaped her wrath then she would go home and beat it out of Dib. He sighed and shuffled his feet, curse this cursed human. "You really want to know why the Dib-stink spent the night at my base?"

Gaz bowed her head slightly, but didn't take those cold brown eyes off of Zim. The whole effect cast an evil looking shadow across her face. Her voice became slightly deeper, meaning she was deadly serious. "I guess so, but spare me the gooey details."

Zim smirked, why was it that all teenage humans only thought about one thing? He crossed his arms so that he was holding his upper arms tightly, as they had been itching rather badly and he was trying to stop it without scratching. "If you really must know it's because he tried to get me to quit taking aswermitus and I...refused."

Gaz looked at Zim as if he had just announced that he was the messiah, before a smile ached its way across her face. She placed a hand across her mouth as she laughed at Zim's statement. Zim just looked on calmly as Gaz tried to control her mirth.

Eventually she stopped and wiped a tear from her eye. She placed the cig in her mouth and said, "Christ, Zim, I thought you of all people knew how to lie convincingly," before sucking in more of her cig and going back to holding it in her hand while blowing out more smoke.

Zim narrowed his eyes and his voice hardened. "You don't believe me?"

"No, Zim," she bluntly stated, "I don't believe you."

Zim grew a malicious grin and slowly took his left arm out of his coat and raised his red shirt to his shoulder. Gaz's face remained passive, but even she couldn't stop her eyes widening in shock as Zim showed her his bruised upper arm, complete with several needle pinpricks dotted around clear track lines that ran across his veins.

Quickly he rolled his sleeve back down and put his arm back into his coat, all the while sporting a vicious, uncaring grin at the shock on Gaz's face.

However, she quickly regained her composure and took another, but notably long, toke of her cigarette. "I bet you're real proud of yourself, huh, Zim?"

"I'm not proud, no," he cocked his head slightly. "But I'm not ashamed either. It's-"

"My choice, yea," Gaz interrupted with the wave of a hand. "I've heard it all before." She gave a dark chuckle, "Especially from me."

Zim didn't respond as he assumed she was referring to her cigarette. Gaz smoked the last of it and threw it to the floor, stamping it out with her boot. She looked back at Zim. "You just keep telling yourself that when you sell your soul to get a hit."

He scoffed at her. "Like that will ever happen, souls are the stuff of myths."

She grinned darkly. "You'd think that, wouldn't you," she sighed, uncaring, and turned away. "Bye, Zim, don't kill yourself too quickly or you won't be able to open your Christmas presents."

When she was a safe enough distance away from him Zim took his thumb to the top row of his zipper-like teeth and flicked it in her direction.

On Irk, this was the equivalent of giving someone the finger. "Stu-pid hu-man," he grumbled while walking into the store.

----

Zim was shaking as he knocked on door number sixty-five. As he had continued his walk into the city the withdrawal had become worse, at several points he had almost thrown up into a dark ally or stopped because some hallucination had distracted him. Even when he walked into the hotel his eyes had told him that the hotel was in fact a monster and if he walked in through the doors he would be walking to the beast's mouth.

Needless to say, that had not stopped him.

The sky pored down with snow, it was close to something of a blizzard. Not even the sex shops were open tonight, something Zim had barley noticed as he fought his way through the snow and into the hotel, driven by pure drug lust.

He ran a claw softly down his left arm, trying to calm the itching as he heard Vega's voice shout "Who is it?"

"Me, Zim," he replied, trying not to sound desperate. He was late and he knew it, his body was telling him he was late.

His antenna rose slightly as the door opened to a grumpy looking Vega. "You're late."

Zim growled "I know," and he proceeded to walk in past the sneering Mexican.

The moment he walked into the main room he had to take in a haggard breath. Sprawled on the floor in front of him was Shawn, a cigarette still held loosely in his open mouth and an empty syringe in his right hand. Iggy was hunched over in the far right corner, a blanket wrapped around him and a needle lying on the filthy mattress in front of him. It wasn't the sight of the humans spiked out of their minds that was shocking him, it was the needles lying on the floor. He could barley stand not to tear his own veins out just to stop them from screaming for a fix.

Then he looked to his mattress, the one he had sat on last time and, in a short break from junkie hunger, he was annoyed. Lilith was laying there on her back, a needle in her hand and a blanket just at her waist. Her black hoody was unzipped, showing a deep green t-shirt with 'NIH' written in large white letters on the front.

However, he would deal with this later.

He darted to the counter and slammed down five hundred pounds. Vega walked round, chuckling cruelly. "You're in luck, boy, one left."

From behind the counter he brought up a black suitcase and, using a short code, opened it up. Zim had to grip the counter tightly because his claws were shaking so much. He could feel them digging into the dirty plastic, making small marks on the counter.

Vega noticed this as he took a clean syringe from below the counter. He gave Zim's claws a concerned look and then looked to Zim's eyes, which glowed with a dangerous light, like that of a tiger before it pounces on its prey. "Hey, man, do you mind? I need that counter, you know."

Zim didn't say a word, but slowly removed his hands, holding one of them out to Vega, who dropped the vial and the needle into the Irken's claws.

In seconds Zim was on his mattress with a needle full of aswermitus being pumped into his arm. His eyes were shut tight as he removed the needle, but by the time he had thrown it across the room he had fallen backwards onto the mattress. As he lay next to Lilith a great smile grew across his face as his mind became lost to the drug.

-------------------

Woop. Well I hope ya like Gaz here; I did my best to keep her Gaz-like but still have her more mature (like all the show characters.) I thought "If Gaz is such a rebel 'n' all, let's make her have something that can tie into the addictions theme and be sorta rebellious." I remembered the way Shawn smoked so I gave it to Gaz as well. I gave Gaz cigarettes. I am a bad person...hehehe.

Anyway it allowed me to give that superb line (if I do say so myself) about 'my choice'. I dunno where the whole soul thing came from, but I did want to have Zim say somewhere that souls don't exist.

References!

NIH, comes right from JTHM (Nine Inch Heels for the none-obsessive fan.)

The Irken insult is actually a really old Shakespearean insult, if you don't believe me watch the beginning of the modern day 'Romeo and Juliet' film and you see one of the characters do it to another character. I thought it would be funny to have Zim do it to Gaz, after she was about three blocks away haha. (Is blocks right? We don't have blocks in England…)

Just to make your minds run a bit here's a short list of the people I am defiantly going to cameo. 1: Pepito (Squee!) 2: Squee 3: Senior Diablo (Squee!).

R&R pweeeaaase!


	6. Breakfast at Lilith's

Invader Sideos and his brainwashing techniques tell you: I've been watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas...wow. It's all I can say. Its gotta be tributed somewhere now. Such a great film. If I don't get to be a comic writer then I'm just gonna become a Gonzo journalist. You know, get wasted on acid, smack and drugs of all sorts while drinking copious amounts of booze and writing about shit all.

Sounds like the promised land to me.

Ok, so for this chapter...I dunno. One or two things I wanna get out the way. I'm eager to get to the end of this, not because I wanna end it, it's because I got such a FANTABULAS ending I wanna rush though and write it before my minds deletes it.

Written to...who knows? The bats are closing in...Mostly my new LIVE Guns N' Roses songs and some Johnny Thunders - Pirate Love, Born To Lose, In Cold Blood and Chinese Rocks. Also a bit of the LEGEND that is Johnny Cash - Get Rhythm, Cocaine And Whiskey and Boy Named Sue.

That's an awful lot…

I don't own Zim foooools.

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The vision behind Zim's eyes slowly faded away and he felt his consciousness returning swiftly. The sounds of fantasy faded into nothing and the sounds of reality took over; cars noisily honking and screeching in the streets, the dull roar of people walking and talking while they shopped and sometimes the sounds of dogs or cats barking and screeching in the ally.

Zim didn't open his eyes straight away, instead he lay there on his mattress. He felt so warm; everything was so soft and comfortable, so peaceful.

It was rare that Zim ever got the chance to really relax, just do nothing for a while. His job as an information gatherer was extremely demanding and when he wasn't doing that there was always something Gir had wreaked that needed repairing, or some experiment that needed fixing, or some homework that needed doing to keep his normalcy disguise, but he could always just get the computer to do those.

It was a busy life being an Invader.

As he slowly regained feeling in the rest of his body he realised his arms were wrapped around something. Something warm, thin and squishy.

Zim smiled and, for some unknown reason, gave it a squeeze without opening his eyes. He heard whatever he had hugged moan sleepily and felt something snuggle closer to him.

Zim slowly and lazily opened one eye. He seemed to be wrapped in his coat, like it was a blanket, and lying on his side with his arms wrapped tightly round a thin, black shape. He watched, still heavily seduced by a combination of drug weariness and the mornings laziness, as the thin black squashy thing rolled around to face him.

The sickly, pale green face and sparkling dark blue eyes of the bunny girl looked right at him and she gave a simple smile. "Morning to you too."

Zim closed his eyes absent mindedly and gave her another small hug. "Morning."

Suddenly it occurred to him exactly what he was doing. His eyes flew open and he jumped back, screaming. He yanked his arms away so fast that the girl he was hugging was thrown from the mattress and tumbled on to the floor.

He scrambled backward until his PAK hit the wall behind him and he stayed, shivering, while wrapping his coat tightly around him, creating a small reddish ball out of which only his eyes could be seen.

He felt, in some indescribable way, wrong, almost dirty. Showing affections in his fantasies was one thing, showing them in real life was another.

He watched, half frightened, half suspicious, as the girl slowly picked herself up. She kept her head down so the hood on her black hoody covered her face, but he could tell she was annoyed. "Jeese, Zim, do you always treat a girl like that the morning after?"

Zims eyes widened when she looked up to scowl at him. It wasn't the bunny girl, it was only Lilith. His eyes narrowed again as he realised that it was his addiction getting to him. He quickly screwed up his eyes and shook his head before looking back at Lilith, who was now sitting at the end of the mattress and tying her jet black hair up into those bunny ear-like pony tails.

Zim quickly scanned the room. It was quite early in the morning. He couldn't tell what time because he couldn't see the kitchen clock, but the distant noise in the street told him it must be around ten-ish. Shawn was still lying on the floor in roughly the same position he had been in last night and Iggy seemed to have fallen onto his side. Both were sleeping quietly, apart from Shawn who was snoring lightly.

The room glowed a myriad of browns, deep reds and even hint's of orange in the early morning light. The air was fresh and clean, washing away the feeling of need and junkie hunger from the night before.

The clock was ticking, Zim thought, until it would start all over again. One hour of peace, then the internal screaming would begin once more.

He turned back to Lilith and watched her with curious eyes as she silently finished her hair and began to pat the pockets on her hoody, then on her pants. She looked at Zim and hurriedly asked, "Do you have any cigs?"

"No," Zim answered rather too quickly. Inside he was violently battling with that feeling again. The one that seemed to have the power to destroy his speech and actions around this female. His mind tried to place together some sort of scenario where he could act on this feeling, but the only thing that would play in his minds eye was him grabbing her arms tightly, then letting go and screaming in anger, then grabbing her again and so on. Every now and then he would scream and then tear parts of his own arms off in confused anger.

Again Zim shook his mind clear of this and decided that the best option overall would be to leave, get away from this female and the mental hold she had on him. This mass of confusion, rage, wanting whatever the humans called it, that battled within him needed to be stopped, the sooner the better.

He quietly got up as Lilith sneaked a cigarette from Shawn's top pocket. She watched him with a raised eyebrow as she lit her cigarette. "Where are you going?"

He stopped at the door and half looked at her. His mind came up with a hundred excuses, but his mouth only managed to stumble out, "Oh, err, breakfast."

All he wanted to do was get out that door, which he was already half way through, when the teenager behind him cheerily shouted, "I'll come with you! I'm starving."

Zim spun round, almost panicking. "No!"

Lilith stopped where she had been walking over to him; her eyes became wide with confusion. Then she closed them and laughed slightly. "It's ok, I can pay for myself, you know."

She walked past the frozen Irken, while taking in her cigarette and said, "Come on, you don't wanna miss the breakfast hours, do you?"

Zim gave a short cough at the cloud of smoke that she blew out and quietly followed her.

--

Zim sat in the booth of the diner. He had chosen to sit in the furthest corner this time. He didn't want a repeat of yesterday's incident.

Last time he was lucky it was only Keef, next time it could be anyone. Even Gaz last night had proven to be too close of a shave. He was avoiding anyone he knew from his old life as much as possible. He felt rather depressed this morning and didn't really feel like talking to anyone, or explaining his company.

His eyes scanned the cafe; it was the same small, quiet place he had visited yesterday. However, this morning it has considerably more crowded, the air bristling with chatter and people happily enjoying their holidays. Zim shifted down a bit further into his seat. He really didn't feel like being outside today, it was colder then usual and the sun, despite its weakness, stung his eyes.

The table was a classic picturesque coffee diner table. White, but not too white, plastic table with two red leather seats that had unprepared scratches and cuts. They were uncomfortable to sit on, but not as bad as the mattresses back at the thunders hotel.

Zim tightened the white bandage on his arm a bit more and gave a kid, who was staring at him from the left opposite booth, a look that could have made a baby cry. It certainly made the kid whimper and look away quickly.

Zim growled. Damn humans and their staring eyes.

He looked up and watched with little real interest as Lilith, who sat opposite him, read a newspaper she had found lying on the seat. Zim could see the headline read 'UN Puts Pressure On Latin America To Shut Down On Aswermitus Farms' and he blinked slowly, again not caring.

"You're very quiet."

Zim snapped back to reality from where he had been staring into space and hugging his arms. "What?"

"I said," and Lilith turned a page of the newspaper, "you're being very quiet. Are you always this quiet, or is it just at breakfast?"

"Errm." It seemed as though he still couldn't speak around her. "I dunno."

Zim could have smashed his face on the table for that one. Since when did he ever not know anything?

He watched nervously as the female gave him a curious look from the top of her paper before she buffed it and turned a page. "I see..."

There was another moment of silence that seemed to go on for too long before Lilith again broke it. "Interesting..."

"What?" Zim quickly asked as he unconsciously began to tap his claws on the table.

Without looking up she slowly said, "Membrane lab's stocks have risen rather quickly lately."

Zim raised an antenna and looked at her in confusion. Noticing this, she set the paper down to explain. "I have a theory that the sudden explosion in A dealing is linked to Membrane labs, like they're secretly dealing it to make enough money to bale them out of the failure of super cabbage." She leaned forward once more with a sly smile. "But they'll deny it, of course. Not even Professor Membrane could get out of dealing drugs on this sorta scale." She then leaned back, putting away the paper. "What'da think?"

Zim laughed. "I think it's a stu-pid theory."

She smirked. "Only as stupid as that haircut of yours."

Zim froze, he had forgotten all about his lack of wig. A hand shot to his head, flattening down his antenna.

She cocked her head slightly and slowly nodded. "But…it's original, so that's cool."

He breathed a sigh of relief and thanked the way that humans are so often blind to the completely obvious.

He felt like he should say something. "Erm…thanks?"

Lilith grinned wolfishly. "See, I knew I could get you talking."

Zim suddenly froze again and looked horrified, immediately looking down and away from her.

She cocked her head slightly. "What's the matter?"

For a moment Zim darted a look back to her, then narrowed his eyes and slowly said "You are."

Lilith leaned back into her seat cautiously. "What?"

Zim suddenly exploded; all the rage and confusion just came flying from within him and out through his mouth. He couldn't stop himself. He could almost see himself turn to her, eyes radiating fury as he ranted. "YOU ARE! I don't know how you do it, but you're always in here!" and he poked the side of his head. "I don't know whether you're an Irken or not and frankly I don't care, but the problem is I DO CARE! I don't know what you've done to me, but every time I see you I can't speak! I can't think! I don't know what's happening, but YOU'RE TO BLAME!"

Lilith simply looked at him, shocked. She looked like she had just been told Christmas had been cancelled. Zim continued to rant for several more minutes until he finally seemed to run low on breath.

"I can't even properly explain it! Maybe you're in league with the Dib-stink and this is just some horrid pay back for me running away from him or something, I don't know!"

Zim calmed down slightly, taking deep breaths and brushing a hand over his head, flattening one of his antennas. He glanced away from her, then back. "So," his voice was still dripping with anger. "Do you mind telling me what you're trying to do to me?"

Lilith sat there and bridged her fingers together. She went to say something, then stopped, instead placing her index fingers on her top lip and sighing slightly. Without looking at Zim she reached into her pockets, then growled and quietly said "damm, I forgot to get some cigarettes."

Then she looked back to a still fuming, but quiet, Zim and sighed again. "Ok." She placed her hands down on the table, spreading her fingers, and then bridging them again. "Ok," she repeated, this time more quietly.

Zim was tapping his foot under the table and was beginning to get impatient with her. He was about to ask again when she finally began talking. However, she never made any eye contact. "Look, Zim, I'm going to be straight with you. I'm not really looking for any boyfriends right now."

This was not what he was expecting her to say. "Eh?"

She finally looked him in the eye. "If what you're describing is correct, then you have a crush...on me."

Zim was even more bemused. "Zim does not feel squashed."

She looked at him blankly, then suddenly burst out giggling. "Squashed! That's a good one!" But when she saw Zim wasn't joking she quickly stopped.

Slowly she said "You've...never had a crush before?"

Zim leaned back and crossed his arms. "I don't even know what this crush thing is."

Lilith's eyes widened with shock. "Wow, you must have led a really sheltered life, huh?" Zim didn't respond, he only narrowed his eyes in annoyance, causing Lilith to quickly continue. "Well it's...you know..." She scratched the back of her head. "A crush, puppy love and all that."

Zim slowly raised an antenna. "Love?"

Lilith nodded and looked away. "Yea, but its not real love, it's just-"

"That's impossible; Zim can't love," he cut in, drawing a confused stare from the human.

"Why not?" she implored.

The Irken crossed his arms and smirked. "Because I just can't."

Lilith was now giving Zim a very worried look. "You're really weird, anyone ever told you that?"

Zim was going to answer, but she continued anyway. "Look, we've barley known each other more then a day. I mean, I like you and all, just not in that way. Ok?"

Zim felt strangely empty, like the time he had been told by Tak that his mission was a lie. For a fleeting moment, high in his ship, looking at the panic in Tak's eyes, he had believed her. His mind had slotted it all into space; everything seemed to be perfectly explained. But a second later he had shaken it off as a lie in a poor attempt to get him to drop his guard.

But this was different, there was no lie here. He didn't even know why he was feeling like this, he had never needed anyone before, so why did he care so much that this human wasn't rushing to his side? He didn't even know what to do if she had accepted this apparent crush he supposedly had on her.

Slowly he scowled as he realised that while he, by all rights, should walk off and forget this human's very existence, was compelled by something inside him to sit and stay, if only to keep close to her. The thought sickened his mind, but also lessened the hole inside him.

Right there, he hated everything and anything he could think of to blame for such conflicting behaviour.

Lilith leaned back into her chair and tried to sound sincere. "Look, let's just get to know each other first, ok? So…where are you from?"

Zim narrowed his eyes. "Not here."

The human smiled slightly. "Oh? Are you from, like, abroad, or something?"

Zim allowed a cunning grin. "Yea, something like that."

Lilith leaned back in her chair and looked up at the dirty ceiling. "Yea, I've been abroad a few times with my mom and dad's money. They didn't actually come along, of course. Bastards."

Zim raised an antenna in confusion. Lilith saw his look and sighed. "My mom and dad are rich, really rich. My dad's company is a rival of Membrane labs and my mom works abroad all the time. I hardly ever see them."

"Oh," Zim replied, trying to hear his own sincerity.

Lilith continued without looking at Zim. "And I was an only child. I hate them so much," She looked up and grinned wickedly. "But at least I get to access the trust fund they set up for me."

Zim couldn't help but grin at the way the human had said that. "So that's how you afford it."

She laughed. "Yea, I wonder what they'd do if they found out. But, then again, they'd have to pay attention to me first."

She turned back to Zim. "So, what country are you from? I might have visited it."

Zim stalled, "Err…"

The talk was interrupted as a waitress placed two plates of waffles and two cups of coffee on the table, then smiled once and walked off. Zim thanked his lucky stars and immediately stuffed his mouth full of waffle so he wouldn't have to answer the question.

The moment she finished eating, as Zim had finished slightly before her, she looked around suspiciously. Zim watched with a lazy interest, he was still mad with himself about how he was not destroying the human for rejecting him.

Lilith lent forward onto the table with a daring look on her face. "Do you really want to pay for this?"

Zim narrowed his eyes, "Paying is normal in any culture."

Lilith rolled her eyes. "Yea well, so is not paying."

Zim was about to say it was not normal, but Lilith grinned and grabbed his hand. Immediately she was out of her seat, dragging a slightly shocked Zim behind her at full speed. The Irken quickly caught on and was soon a step ahead of her as they ran full speed down the street. In the background they could hear an angry shop owner shout insults at them.

But Zim didn't care; he was guiltily enjoying the fact that Lilith was holding his hand.

--------------------

Well. This is a pile of sweaty rubbish. It took ages to write and it was done like, a day at a time, with a little sentence added each time.

I hate it when that happens. Anyway, now I got rid of the main problem (the crush) I can speed up the timeline a bit. Is this the end of Zim and Lilith romance? Honestly, on a deep and emo level, yes. But on a drugged up mindless 'I don't know what I'm doing' state, nope.

BTW people, Lilith and Zim have NOT slept together. So don't jump to conclusions with the beginning of this.

Anyways, I hope you guys like Lilith. I'm desperately trying to make her a good character (not a good as in good person, just good as in well designed.) I'm ignoring the Mary-sue rule of 'All Mary-sues have a sad and hard life background' thing because every OC character here has a hard life background. Well…maybe not every…but still. I'm also NOT doing the one thing I noticed appeared an awful lot in drug-fics on this site, making the junkie into some desperate prostitute. Some of you may be alarmed but just because you're a junkie doesn't automatically make you a hooker! Junkie's would rather steal their money then sell themselves.

That's a fact don't' cha know. It may be different in da USA though…BAH, culture shock!

Sly joke, "Look, we've barley known each other more then a day." All Mary-sues seem to get their man (or woman) on the first day.

What I've got planned will be...good. Exciting. A brand new take on how people make Zim act after doing certain things. Well, I hope it is anyway.

R&R, cos you have da power!


	7. Oxygen Addiction

Invader Sideos can do many amazing things, but he says this instead: I keep taking bits of this story, editing out the IZness, and sending them to my friends who ask about what I'm writing. They think I'm superb...yay. More confidence for me. After this is finished, I may go back though it and change it so its all totally original and not a fan-fic, then I could post it on fiction press...see if it really can hold its own.

And I could add it to a much needed portfolio for uni...

I think I'm taking Zim a bit too far out of character, I'm trying to make him hate himself for this feeling and the like while also hating Lilith for making him feel that way WHILE ALSO making him want her. It's hard job really.

He's also much more of a thinker, I dunno why. The underlining of this story is not really drugs; it's a question of nurture vs. nature. Zims been taught all his life how to think, act etc, etc. The drug has simply opened the internal door to his natural Irken instincts.

60's consciousness expansion and all that malarkey.

Bah. Look at this in two ways. One a story about drug addiction on repressed feelings, or two, a story about philosophises, freedom and seeing things in a new light.

I just found out that Glen Danzig (former front man of The Misfits) has his own comic publishing company. I now know where I'm gonna launch my war-at-Vasquez from. And if I do get a job there, I can brag to my friend who's OBSESSED with the Misfits. He's even gonna buy us tickets to go see em.

Man I'm tired. And I've got a headache. Anyway, I think I'm just gonna crush some ideas together for this; I wanna hurry this story along before I get so tired of it that I explode.

Oh, and just in-case you don't get the first few paragraphs, time has advanced by two weeks.

Written to Iggy Pop - 1969, 1970 and (most importantly) Be Your Dog.

I not own Zim...Not me...nope.

--------------------

"Can you hurry up, earth-worm?"

"Shut up, Zim, this is a careful process."

"You humans are all so slow" Zim huffed, standing behind Shawn, who was hurriedly typing away on his laptop.

Outside the Thunders hotel, Christmas Eve was drawing to an end and every kid in the country was sleeping soundly, waiting for the next day when they could rush downstairs and open their presents. The night poured down with snow, worse now then all month. For the last two weeks it had snowed, almost a blizzard, non-stop. The city had to shut down some of the roads because of such a heavy downfall. Zim had even seen a news report about it being one of the worst in America's recorded history and some scientist types blaming global warming for it.

He had spent a moment laughing at the human's stupidity at causing their own planet to actually start destroying itself.

Zim looked at the dirty clock on the kitchen wall as it struck ten, before rolling his eyes and giving his arms a scratch. He seemed to be having a lucky night; the withdrawal was not that strong. Only a slight nausea, itching and shaking in his hands. His hands hadn't really stopped shaking for a week, but he brushed it off as just the cold air. The only thing that was really annoying him was the way his left arm wouldn't stop aching. He looked at it and gave it slow rub, being careful not to move the tight bandage too much.

Shawn had been trying to get a program working on his laptop, which he carried with him everywhere in his haggard backpack. This program would allow him and Zim to watch TV through the computer. Of course, they weren't going to pay for it, which was why it was taking so long. Shawn had been at it for almost half an hour now. A constant sound of tapping came from the keyboard and he leaned right over it, the screen reflecting in his large, geekish glasses.

Zim sighed and rolled his eyes. For no real reason he began to walk around the filthy room, kicking various poop cola cans and throwing the odd piece of rubbish into the rubbish pile in the far corner of the kitchen.

He and Shawn where the only ones in the den at the moment. Zim had spent the day walking around with him stealing tiny bits of food and generally not being very nice people.

Zim would have spent the day following Lilith around, but she had left in the morning before he had even come out of his drug educed dreaming.

He turned and cast an unnoticed glare at the young teenager. Shawn was not like the others, he was much too like Dib for Zim's tastes. He had been the only one to really notice Zim's lack of hair, which, taking advantage of Lilith's idea, he had explained as a new haircut. He seemed to accept the explanations, but Zim still noticed that the human sometimes gave him an odd glance, like he knew that Zim wasn't telling the truth.

Zim smirked and turned back to his trash kicking. Shawn's biggest flaw was that, unlike Dib, he lacked the backbone to prove anything. Zim was safe as long as the others continued to believe everything he told them.

He sat down on his mattress, leaning against the wall, and let his thoughts drift onto the human female for what seemed to be the millionth time that day. He scowled at himself; this crush thing was really annoying. It caused his every stray thought to be of that damn girl. Immediately he tried to forcibly switch his thoughts to something else, anything else.

His eyes locked on the laptop and he irritably stated "is it working yet?"

Shawn leaned in just a bit closer and typed just slightly faster. Suddenly he leaned right back and smashed his finger on the enter key, whipping his wrist back as he did so.

He smiled and turned to Zim. "Now it is." He leaned back and cracked his knuckles behind his head. "Damn I'm good," he laughed.

Zim got up and walked to stand behind him, crossing his arms tightly as he did so. He was getting goosebumps and shivers again.

The laptop flicked onto a small screen with some large woman in a pink suit saying something, but there was no sound. Zim raised an antenna to Shawn who saw this and replied by smacking the side of the laptop. This seemed to fix the problem.

"-jor problem in today's society. The number of addicts has soared as aswermitus has flooded into this country, as it has done across the world. I think the major problem we have is that the equipment we use to detect the substance simply isn't working. And also, the Quetina plant from which the drug is extracted, can be grown in your everyday greenhouse. These problems are the ones our government should be combating the most."

Zim snorted and began pacing again, hugging himself tighter. Shawn looked up for a second then went back to his show. Zim listened from his mattress as the shivers began to properly kick in.

He closed his eyes as the voice changed to a man's. "The government needs to put more money into the drug control programs, border controls and narcotic agencies, however seemingly all of the budget has gone towards either the military or building the presidents new super ranch in Texas."

Zim heard Shawn tut. "Why did we vote that idiot in?"

Zim answered him bitterly. "Because you have a useless and pointless democratic system. And you're all stu-pid."

Shawn turned to look at Zim, then looked back to his computer and turned down the volume as he talked. "Are you sure you're not from somewhere in the USSR?"

"No," Zim gritted out. His claws were digging into his arms as he desperately tried to hold himself together.

Shawn either didn't notice or didn't care and he continued with his questions, which where greatly annoying Zim. "No you're not sure, or no you're not from the USSR?"

Zim snapped "NO I'M NOT FROM THE USSR! NOW WILL YOU SHUT YOUR PATHETIC MOUTH FOR ONCE!"

Shawn automatically recoiled and curled up into a ball, backing against the kitchen counter. Zim smiled almost sadistically as he heard the boy whimper. He knew that the human had suffered harshly at the hands of his parental unit and still showed the psychological scars. Which is why it was always that much more fun when Zim lashed out at him.

As the shakes began to fade Zim began to pull himself back up onto his feet. Shawn just reached forward and took his laptop, pulling it closer to him and turning up the volume again so it became a filling background noise for Zim.

Zim snorted at the human's mouse-like behaviour and decided to talk a walk around the hotel. He always preferred his own company anyway. Zim walked out the door of the flat and began slowly pacing the floor, looking into each room as he passed.

The hallway was filthy; graffiti and rubbish everywhere. Zim had to step carefully so as to not walk on rat droppings or broken glass. He looked to his left and at the graffiti, reading it where it was readable.

"Plague," he said quietly as he read the sprayed inscription. "Junkie skum, addict whore, Z?" Zim stopped at the last one, staring at it for a moment before continuing. Most of them were pictures, badly drawn ones but still identifiable. A knife with blood dripping down, some capped human with a gun, a rat with a beret and an AK-47, even a rather odd circle crossed with a large V. The images were everywhere on the dark and mostly wrecked walls. Then, as Zim got to the end of the corridor where a still intact window overlooked the alleyway entrance, he spotted one that was painted over a door. It was a huge A with a needle passing though it.

Zim immediately bit down on his lip and dug his claws into the palms of his hands. His addiction was calling again, roaring within him. He closed his eyes tightly and a soft, but growing, growl came from within him. He fists where shaking with hunger, an internal screaming that could only be silenced by one thing. His hand automatically flew to the top of his left arm and his claw closed tightly around it. He could suddenly taste something in his mouth, blood. He had bitten down so hard that it had begun bleeding.

He raised his free fist and roared at nothing, just letting this feeling of unsurpassed hunger explode out of him. He opened his eyes; a strange dullness resided within them. He suddenly wanted to destroy the first thing he saw.

And he could see the A sign. He roared again and raised a boot up then, smashing it against the sign and felling the door in a swift but powerful kick.

Zim hadn't exactly planned for the door to do that, and so consequently almost fell as he stumbled forward into the room.

He quickly put a hand against the wall and steadied himself; he also coughed as a mass of dust exploded in the stale air around him. He looked around and felt his optic implants shift to accommodate the darkness. As he looked a few rats darted in between the broken floorboards and the large cracks in the walls.

The room was totally dark, as all the windows were boarded up. It looked mostly like the drug den, but without the rubbish. The wallpaper was a sick yellow and most it was peeling from the walls. He walked in and saw that a few items had been left behind by the humans that had once occupied the hotel. A toaster, a chair, even a small one eyed doll. Zim kicked it and watched as it bounced off a door that was open slightly.

Curiosity took hold and he walked towards the dark and dirty door. He slowly pushed it open and peered inside.

At first he could see nothing, nothing of any real interest anyway, and then he spotted it. A once boarded but now broken window cast a pool of light onto a large white bed in the middle of the room. Zim slowly approached it, stepping over the array of broken rubbish and broken floorboards until he stood at its side.

He stared at it for a moment before giving it a curious poke, and he was pleasantly surprised to find the bed was still in rather good shape.

Slowly he sat down upon it, further testing in case the poke had missed anything.

The bed was soft and comfortable, much better then the hard springy mattresses he had been putting up with. He let himself fall back onto it, revelling in the comfortable textures of the bed. He hadn't lain down on anything this soft in a long time.

Zim stayed like that for a moment, simply enjoying the peace and quiet, even the hunger within him for another hit seemed to momentarily die down.

Then a scuttling from some nearby vermin brought him out of his space-out and he grudgingly got up from the bed. The calling within him was returning with gusto, and so he decided he might as well go back to the den to see if anyone else had arrived.

As he walked out the room he didn't bother shutting the door, for some odd reason he was sure he'd be using it later that night, he chuckled slightly, probably to be crashing on it.

--

Outside, the wind howled. The snow had turned into a blizzard; a news report from Shawn's computer had told them that no one should be venturing outside this late at night. Though no one had shown it, the addicts had all felt a pang of worry. Even Zim had felt a jolt of fear as the report came in. If the blizzard was that bad then Vega may not make it, and that was unthinkable. A night without a hit would be truly unliveable, and every junkie in the room knew it.

Zim looked to the clock, it was nearing half past eleven, Vega always came at twelve. That was one thing about him; he was an extremely punctual human and always did everything like clockwork. Sometimes he would arrive earlier and talk to them for a while, sometimes not, but he always came in with a delivery by twelve. Zim scowled as the thought of the human came to his mind. He hated Vega and Vega hated him. They had each made it perfectly clear in the way they talked, or rather spat, at each other and the way they would glare at each other. But Zim knew that no matter how much he disliked the overweight human he would have to put up with him for his fix, and he suspected Vega only put up with Zim for his money.

Zim turned to his left, where, to his great annoyance, sat Lilith. She had been talking non-stop for some time about something or other, while every now and then Zim said something like "yea," or "really?" in order to keep up the idea that he was actually listening to anything she was saying.

This was always the deal at this time of night. Zim hated it, he hated the fact that he actually missed Lilith when she wasn't around, but when she was, all he wanted was for her to vanish off the face of the planet.

Zim suddenly noticed something; Lilith had stopped talking to him. He turned and noticed that she was now arguing with Iggy, who was sitting sideways on the worn-out leather chair.

He was shaking his head and had a small grin on his face. "People are not addicted to oxygen, you can't be addicted to something you need to survive."

Lilith frowned. "What's the definition of an addict? Someone who needs something constantly to survive, right? So if you need oxygen to survive, obviously we're addicted to it."

Iggy massaged his temple in annoyance. "Yes but you can't quit breathing air, you don't get any withdrawal if you don't breathe air."

Lilith chucked in a now-it-all way, "Sure you do, it's called death."

Iggy looked like he was about to bang his head on a wall. "Look, breathing is not an addiction, all things have to breath, so it can't be an addiction if every being on earth does it, can it?"

Lilith never seemed to be short of answers, that or she really wanted the last word. "So if everyone of the planet got spiked every night, would they all be addicts, or would it not count?"

Shawn seemed taken back slightly, "Well...err, no. They'd just be...constant users...I think."

She seemed to take this as a victory. "HA! I knew it! Were not addicted to breathing, were just constant users."

Zim suddenly laughed harshly, causing the attention of the arguing humans to shift to him. He stopped when he noticed their looks and he grinned slyly. "I can quit oxygen. I don't need it to survive."

Both humans laughed and Lilith said, "Oh yea? I'd like to see you do that."

Zim folded his arms, "Watch me," At the same time he noticed that Shawn was also watching him with quiet interest.

Zim took a breath and closed his eyes while also shutting his mouth tightly. Inside he was laughing, he didn't actually need oxygen to live, he only needed nitrogen, which was easily supplied though his PAK filters.

He opened one eye to see the reactions on the faces of Iggy and Lilith, a tiny, annoying, part of him wondered if he impressed her. Iggy was slowly smiling more and more, but Lilith was slowly looking more and more concerned.

A silence fell on the room and all attention turned to Zim, who had, seemingly, been holding his breath for over four minutes.

Lilith suddenly broke the silence, she sounded worried, "Ok, Zim, stop it."

Zim smiled, but refused to open his mouth. Not only was he enjoying being the centre of attention, he has worrying the girl, an added bonus.

Lilith pushed his shoulder. "Come on, Zim, this isn't funny anymore."

Zim smiled wider and closed his eye, he even began humming. He was clearing enjoying torturing his audience.

Lilith was now clearly panicking; even Iggy had lost his smile. Lilith grabbed Zim's shoulder and shook him. "Zim, stop it you'll kill yourself."

Iggy quickly followed on, "Come on, man. Quit it."

Shawn stayed silent, and only observed the scene from a distance. Zim just hummed louder, if he could have laughed, he would have. So far he had clocked up almost seven minuets.

Then, suddenly, Lilith slapped him. The sharp pain and shock caused Zim to shout out loudly, which caused Shawn to jump where he sat.

He placed a claw over his cheek and glared at the girl, who was glaring back just as hard. "What did you do that for, stink-beast? I was proving a point."

"You were gonna kill yourself!" Lilith waved one hand in the air to emphasise her point. "Christ's sake Zim! Your lungs were about to collapse!"

Zim growled angrily. "Zim could have held his breath for much longer."

Iggy leaned forward with interest and quietly said "how'd you do that?"

Zim turned and watched Shawn raise his eyebrow in interest. He sighed. "Martial arts training, master control of your body." Zim had read that on an advertisement a week ago, it often served as a useful answer for many of Shawn's questions.

Iggy nodded. "Right, right, that Irr-ken fighting style you told us about." He furrowed his brow. "Where did you learn that again?"

Zim looked down at his feet. "It's only taught where I'm from. It's a very exclusive fighting technique." This was true. Only Irkens were allowed to learn it and only the elites could learn its full secrets. Even then there were things held back for the personal safety of the Irken people.

Lilith huffed and sat back from where she had been glaring at Zim. "I don't care if it was some kung-fu shit. It wasn't funny, Zim, you had us scared."

Zim grinned wickedly. "I know."

Iggy laughed despite the glare Lilith gave him, and even Shawn chuckled.

Something inside Zim warmed up, Lilith had actually been concerned for him. He felt a tingle of joy run along his spine and he shuffled slightly where he was sitting. Immediately however his other side, the Irken elite side, told him that it was a wrong feeling. It told him that he should do all he could to ignore and stop it. But another side, a side that Zim had only become aware of since he started his habit, told him to embrace the feeling. Allow it to flow right though him, to give in to it, to admit to it.

Zim once again felt torn. He knew he should hate the feeling, he should get rid of it, and that's what he had been doing for most of the time.

However, more and more he had found himself wanting to feel it. It felt so...natural.

He narrowed his eyes and kept his vision fixed on the floor. All his life he, like any other Irken, had been taught that nature was a bad thing.

That the Irken race had evolved above primal and backward ideals like individuality, compassion, love. There was only ever the collective importance of the Irken people, the greater good. They were the perfect race; Ruthless, powerful, unforgiving and fearless. They were told to be like the machine, to work tirelessly for the better of their masters. To never question, never think for one's self unless absolutely necessary. To follow orders to the letter, to gain power and glory for the Irken race by any means. Even the smallest Irken was expected to do its duty to the Empire, even if they were as small as Zim used to be.

"One empire, one mind. The Tallest expect every Irken to do as they are told." He quietly muttered the words that had been drilled into him since birth.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Even Zim snapped out of his intense musing.

Zim's veins screamed in hunger as a deep voice floated through the door and into the warm room. "Hey, it's Santa. And I've brought some liquid pure presents for all."

--------------------

Humm...things where meant to happen in this chapter that obviously didn't. It just started getting REALLY long and so I decided to move all the exciting stuff to the next chapter.

Yup.

Exciting INDEED...

Anyway. Err, comments on this chapter. Well, Shawn seems to have evolved slightly as a character. He's much more of a Dib-replacement now, but this was obviously coming from the comments he made in the second chapter.

I'm still unsure whether I like how Lilith is turning out...its kinda, so-so I suppose. It's kinda annoying that I have to always focus on Zim because I would like to get inside some of the other characters heads and develop 'em more.

Iggy was considerably more involved here. Again, I dunno about his character, he's sorta representative of a rocker-type person. Drugs are cool kinda stuff. Lilith was meant to be like that as well...but she's more of a rich kid trying to rebel against neglectful parents.

Too bad she chose to do this particular drug eh?

I really like Zim's thoughts in this. It's an insight into how Zim, and the Irken people, think. It's not brainwashing if you're the brainwash-ee!

Actually it's a comment on how people often write that 'Zim is like a machine/Irkens are like machines. No feelings are to be pitied' kinda stuff. Well, what if their taught that the machine is good? That they should aspire to be like their computerised masters. I was also thinking about the cockroach thing in JTHM no7, live only to supply the basics for yourself and nothing more. The Irkens are probably taught the same but to supply the Empire and nothing more.

The USSR comment thing is a good observation on how much it shows in Zim.

I dunno what the breath holding thing is, or where it came from. Same goes for the nitrogen thingy, I just made it up on the spot. The 'oxygen addiction' was thought up on a coach ride to a very boring uni.

Anyway, a very philosophical chapter, if I do say so myself.

R&R your thoughts to me! I like thoughts...yummy.

Oh, and sorry this took so long. But ya know…education facilities…nuff said. Expect other chapters to take, hopefully less, time to get here.


	8. Ultimate Trip

Invader Sideos crawls thought your TV and across your floor in a creepy fashion to tell you: Woo! It's almost Halloween! My favourite holiday! I hope they show Corpse Bride or some other Tim Burton creation on TV; they always do round about Halloween.

I read somewhere recently that in my wonderful little island home they're thinking of making private cubical especially for heroin addicts. The idea is that addicts who are trying to get help can shoot up in privacy and get some dignity back.

Yes, its ok, the world is going mad. Well, at least England is...

Anyway. Prepare for all the sickness and disturbance that was meant to be in the last chapter. This will be the longest and possibly most comedic 'trip' chapter to date.

I've been planning this for so long, so many gags all lined up. Oh yes, what gags there will be.

Written to, a lot of MC5 songs, System of a Down (especially Spiders) and Velvet Revolver. Oh and of course, Iggy and the Stooges (for Iggy is my lord.) And just for that 'trippy' sense, I'm adding Iggy Pop's best friend and music partner-in-crime, David Bowie.

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man" - Dr Johnson.

I don't own Zim. It really is that simple.

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A cold draft blew though the room as Vega came in. Shawn had been the closest to the door and so he had been the one to open it. The fat Mexican came in shivering and removing his faded brown coat. That was of course before he had placed his briefcase behind the kitchen counter. The junkies all lined up, any talk or activity was halted in favour of the drug.

Zim's mind went numb; his body went into auto motion. It didn't need Zim to tell it what to do now. He lined up just in front of Lilith, who was last in the queue. He tightly hugged himself and clenched his jaw shut. He wanted to rip though these humans and smash open that case. He grabbed his thin arms as tightly as he could; the drug lust inside him at full volume. He knew the others were probably doing the same.

He gave a snort, probably? Of course they were. He could see Shawn actually shaking in front of him, and Iggy's hands were clenched so tightly Zim could see small flecks of blood on the human's nails.

Zim closed his eyes as he heard the briefcase open. He didn't want to see Vega reach in with that uncaring grin of his. He didn't want to see him bring out a vial and show off the liquid that would bring Zim ultimate satisfaction.

However, when there was no click of the lock Zim opened his eyes in interest. Vega looked at the four junkies and gave a cocky grin. "Well, since this is Christmas, I've brought you guys a special treat." He tapped the briefcase casually, immediately drawing all eyes towards it. "In here I've got all your usuals. But, I've also got this..." And he opened his case to bring out a corked test tube with a misty white liquid inside.

He grinned as he saw the dull hunger of addiction enter his audiences' eyes.

"What is it?" Iggy said quickly and numbly. He was staring at the vial with an unblinking zombie-like fascination.

Vega grinned like a giddy child and looked from Iggy, to the vial, and back again. "This is a new batch of A. The contact who sold it to me said it was the best batch made yet."

Lilith, in the same manner and speed of Iggy, asked, "How much?"

Vega smiled and shook his head slowly for a moment. "Ahh Lilith, why do you always think about money?"

She managed a twitch of a smile. "Because it's always about money with you."

There were a few stifled laughs from the junkies and Vega narrowed his eyes at the girl. "The cost is five hundred dollars."

There was a collective groan from the crowd of four. Iggy glared at the fat Mexican. "What's with the upped price, man?"

Vega's mood dropped again and he leaned forward onto the counter with his fists, "Hey, this is top quality spike. If you want any less you can go to some other dealer, but don't expect Jay or Silent Bob to have this sorta shit on their hands. Now," he stood back up and crossed his arms. "Its first-come-first-serve."

There was an immediate shuffling for money as each addict tried to see of they could afford the heightened price. As Zim also gathered his cash his mouth turned slightly at the corner, thank flirk for inflation. The price of A had dropped from being five hundred to one hundred in only two weeks, the human police force must be more idiotic then his tests had proven.

Zim brought out a fist full of cash from his PAK and drew some envious glares from Shawn and Iggy. He turned his head and saw, rather unsurprisingly, that Lilith also had enough. Iggy mumbled something about rich kids and Shawn looked rather depressed that he also didn't have enough.

They quickly paid for the normal batch and hurried to their corners, each with a vial and a needle clutched in their hands. Zim tried not to look; he forced himself to concentrate on his turn. When he placed down five hundred he grinned wickedly at the look on Vega's face.

The Mexican looked at the Irken with almost pure hate in his eyes. "I'm not giving you this. This is for normal people, not for green freaks like you."

Zim picked up the money and waved it under the human's nose, clearly making him even angrier. "Well, if you don't give it to Zim you'll be five hundred earth moneys poorer. And we couldn't have that, could we?"

Vega leaned close to Zim as he snatched the wad of cash from Zim's claws. "I hate you."

"I hate you to, human."

Vega slammed the vial and needle on the kitchen counter, and if it weren't for the needle being plastic it probably would have smashed. Zim took it quickly and shot back to his mattress. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Lilith also take a needle and vial. She was soon sitting beside Zim as he rolled up the sleeve of his shirt.

As he loaded his needle with the drug he turned to look at the girl beside him. She had taken of her hoody and she too was loading her needle with spike.

She saw Zim looking at her and cast him a strange smile, as if she didn't mean to smile but did anyway.

Without thinking Zim softly said "Sweat dreams, Lilith."

She looked to her needle, giving it a flick as she primed it for injection. "Yeah, you too, Zim."

Zim looked back at his needle and watched as a single precious drop sailed down the tip. He raised it to his arm and winced as he punctured his bruised skin. His green blood burst into the white mist, swirling and mixing in a slow delicate fashion. Then Zim clenched his teeth as he pushed the plunger down, forcing the drug into his body. The moment he had finished this he quickly took the needle out. He went to throw it but his arm slowed to a stop half-way though the act.

His face softened, his eyes closed slowly and his breathing slowed. His arm was shaking and he dropped the needle onto the mattress. Slowly he raised his hands to the side of his head and his claws flattened his antenna down. A huge smile grew on his face and he started laughing.

Somewhere in the distance there was an echoing slam of something shutting but Zim didn't care.

This was bliss. It was like a massive weight had been lifted from his body, he couldn't feel anything. He felt like at any moment he would simply fly away in a breeze. All the inside screaming had stopped. All the pain of being on this world just fell away. All the guilt over ditching Dib, all the conflicting feelings for Lilith, every problem or worry was now obsolete.

He laughed more and felt himself falling back onto the wall. It was worth it. All the daytime suffering, the nausea, the shivers and shakes, even the horrifying hallucinations, it was all worth putting up with for this. It was such a beautiful feeling, such an explosion of pleasure that Zim decided that he would kill anyone or anything for this. Dib, the Tallest, anyone. He would gladly betray his Empire for this feeling, this glorious experience.

He opened his eyes. The world around him had become swirling in a mass of vibrant colours and illogical patterns. He stood up and looked around, amazed at the way the world seemed to respond to his every movement. He stretched out an arm, feeling no ache in the action, and held his hand out to the tempest of colour and movement in front of him. He pushed his arm forward and the wall of patterns seemed to buckle, like they had been hit with something powerful. Zim laughed at the power he could feel seething through his veins.

There was a laugh from behind him and Zim turned around carelessly, still grinning at his power over the world. However, his smile flickered when he saw who it was.

Her all blue eyes blinked innocently and her bunny ears twitched. Her head tilted at Zim's confused expression and she slowly danced over to him. He was amazed to see she left strange trails, like visual echos, of where she had just been. She was dressed just like Lilith, and a tiny part of Zim's mind sent out a warning that she probably was. But it was silenced when the bunny girl took his chin in one hand and kissed him quickly on the lips.

Zim staggered back, somewhat shocked and dazed by this action. He could still feel the kiss on him, a tingling sensation that was reaching across his whole body rapidly. He smiled as he quickly gave into the sensation, and suddenly he wanted more.

The bunny girl giggled and walked back a few paces, the places she stepped lighting up in bright white footsteps and her actions still leaving strange trails.

Zim went to walk, but a huge mass of strange, snake-like metallic tendrils rushed around him. He screamed and tried to flail his arms, but they were too tight. They where closing in, crushing him. Soon he couldn't move. He tried to scream, but the tendrils wrapped around his mouth. They where suffocating him, choking him, crushing his organs. He could feel the creeping of death up his spine, crawling across his neck and then slowly up to his brain.

He screamed as loud as he could, and suddenly opened his eyes. There were no steal tentacles, only the room and the green numbers falling across every surface. Nothing wrong there.

He turned slowly and noticed the door was glowing. He staggered slightly, his vision off because of all the movement of numbers around him and he was finding it a bit hard to balance.

Slowly he began walking towards the glowing door. As he stretched out a hand to open it, it creaked open an inch or two on its own.

As Zim slowly approached the door he could hear something. Laugher, a naisly shouting and a human shouting back.

Zim cautiously pushed the door open and his eyes widened at the sight.

There he was.

"Great ghost of dookie, there I am!" Zim watched himself shout some random insult at Dib. It was when he was smaller, healthier; it must have been when he had just arrived on this dirt hole of a planet. Dib was younger too. His head looked much bigger back then.

Zim walked forward, an arm stretched out to touch the smaller Zim, but instead he was stopped by a huge pane of glass that separated himself from his smaller self. He watched stoically as Gir did something totally idiotic and he heard a mass of laugher beside him. He turned and was shocked to see thousands; maybe tens of thousands of humans watching the scene unfold.

He turned back to his smaller self and watched more as he and the Dib fought, bickered and generally caused each other masses of pain. Zim's eyes narrowed as he noticed a team of older humans sitting at the very far side of the glass. They were sitting in the shadows, watching both the warring human and alien and its huge crowd with amused expressions.

Zim noticed that the team of older humans all seemed to be whispering and talking mostly to a very thin one with tanned skin and red hair. Zim suddenly felt that he knew this person, but for the life of him he couldn't think why.

There was a feminine giggle behind him and he turned slowly to see the bunny girl again.

She danced back a few paces when Zim went to grab her and she sang "Don't you want somebody to love? Don't you need somebody to love? Feed your head, Zim."

She suddenly spun round on the spot, causing her body to glow brightly, so brightly it caused Zim to shield his eyes. When he reopened them he was greeted by a very different setting.

He was standing in the Massive. Around him where a small bunch of advisers and the tall elite of the Irken high command. He looked around, caught sight of his reflection in a computer screen and gasped. He was wearing the formal robes of a Tallest. His was a dull pink and black colour and he even floated just above the ground. When he turned back the advisers smiled at him and one pointed to a long corridor.

Zim wordlessly floated down it. As he did so he observed the walls of the massive move in and out slightly, like the ship was breathing. Zim saw the end of the corridor, it was bright white and impossible to see past from a distance. However, as he came closer to the light he heard a loud cheering, the sound of thousands of voices shouting as one.

The light faded and he saw that the corridor ended in a balcony. As he floated out onto the balcony the shouting and cheering grew to almost deafening levels. Zim floated to the edge of the balcony rail and looked down. Below him were millions, possibly tens of millions of Irkens and they were all cheering his name.

Zim grinned widely as he had a rush of power of pleasure. He raised a hand to shoulder so his palm faced upwards in salute to the Irkens below and was greeted with the mass wiggling of antenna. Zim grinned again as a chant started up, growing louder every time.

"Hail Tallest Zim! Hail Tallest Zim! Hail Tallest Zim!"

Zim raised his arms up and tilted his head back, simply basking in the glory of his Empire. Unlimited power was his; he could do anything he wanted now. He owned the universe and anyone or anything that said otherwise would be wiped from existence, as would their families and anyone who said they had ever existed in the first place.

Zim looked down at the still manically cheering Irkens, his arms still held aloft. "I am a god. I own everything."

"You don't own me." Zim spun around and grinned wolfishly as he laid eyes on the bunny girl. She was standing with her hands behind her back at the entrance to the corridor, which again was a white wall of light. The glow illuminated the Irken, making her dark eyes stand out more and highlighting her thin, skinny figure.

Zim turned fully to face her, raising himself to his full height, which was helped slightly due to the fact he was floating, "If I do not own you, then I will conquer you and make you mine."

The bunny girl grinned slyly and slowly backed into the light. Zim watched as it swallowed her. "Then come and conquer me, o' glorious conqueror."

Zim floated to the ground and began to walk slowly, confidently, towards the light. He let it embrace him and when he re-amerced he was still walking, except now he was in the Massive's corridors leading to the royal Tallest chambers.

As he walked towards the far end of the corridor he looked to his left. Along the walls the images moved, a rat with a beret was having a shootout with a weird looking human. He look to his right and watched casually as a great bleeding knife sliced a large 'Z?' sign apart.

He laughed, what would his superior Irken scientists think up next?

He approached the door to his chambers and admired the technological engineering. The golden door showed images that, on glance, appeared to have been engraved directly into it. However, the images moved slowly, gracefully, telling a story. It showed a tall Irken standing over a planet, crushing its inhabitants within his fist. Zim smiled cruelly as he observed the humanoids silently screaming and withering in pain.

He pushed open the door and was greeted by a brilliantly bright, shining, clean room of unimaginable wealth. Gold patterns moved, snake-like across the marble walls. As Zim stepped into the room a gold tile appeared at his foot, holding him above the limitless white that dropped below him. When he took his foot of the tile, the gold faded leaving nothing to show it was ever there.

He walked though the room to the huge windows. When he looked out of them he saw his Empire stretching out before him. A sea of ships, troops and weapons at his every whim. A click of a finger and the universe would burn.

There was a noise at his far side and he turned. A door was open slightly. It looked sliver and it too was glowing brightly. Zim walked towards it and pushed it open.

He smiled as he saw who was in the room. The room itself was lavish beyond royalty. The tattered standards of conquered races were decorating the walls, which seemed to be white but with large, mist like patches of green moving around within them. However, it was not the walls he was interested in.

It was the bunny girl staring hungrily at him from the main four poster bed in the middle of the room. He took a step into the room, his hand resting on the door.

"If this is a crime, then call me a criminal." And he slammed the door.

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SO! Now that I've officially lost and disappointed half my audience, I'm preparing to loose and disappoint the other half.

Next chapter to be emo and angst filled to fo shizzle yo. But yea, it's the beginning of the end I'm afraid...for Zim's addiction anyway!

SO MANY gags and tributes in this chapter, lets see who can get them all. Some are obvious, some are not.

Anyone who does get them all gets a...something. A surprise!

I just got a version of 'What a Wonderful World' as sung by Joey Ramone. He's a god ya know...

Since none of you are going to enjoy this chapter I urge you to flame me! Flame away oh mighty flaming public!


	9. Ultimate Hangover

Invader Sideos cracks his fingers in a slow…annoying manner and says: I've had to download Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas again…and it's not downloading! NOO! I love that film too much for it not to download!

But it now seems my X-box is working again…odd how it didn't work for about a YEAR then suddenly it decides to work again…

Ok peeps. Prepare for the wangsty greatness that is chapter 9! Yea! Woop! You have no idea how long I've been planning this chapter out...

Ok. Written to the blues. Canned Heat, Alabama 3, Muddy Waters that kinda stuff. Yea. I love the blues. The cradle of all rock and roll.

I don't own Zim. And neither does Jhonen Vasquez, that's right! Viacom own all rights to Zim, so Vasquez owns NOTHING of Zim!

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Zim woke up. The first thing he noticed was that he was naked. He could feel the soft silken sheets covering his body, all of his body. He could feel a slight breeze coming in from the gaps in the boarded up windows. His skin was prickling in the cold draft the snow outside was helping to create. His open eyes viewed only upwards as he seemed to be lying on his back. He could pick out the dirt and filth that was the ceiling above him. He moved his arm, feeling the silk covers brush against his skin. It seemed however his gloves where still on which, somewhere inside, he took to be a good sign.

He felt odd, like he had been running all night. Usually he felt tired after a night's worth of A, but this was a different sort of tired. He felt worn out, inside his mind and outside. And it was the outside that was odd.

He closed his eyes, feeling them burn as they clenched together. He felt like they should be shut for a very long time, at least for a good few hours until he felt less strange. He felt weird all over, most of his skin felt tingly, warm, at some points even wet.

Zim opened his eyes slightly and sat up, rubbing his head as he did so. His right hand went over his head and ended at the back of his neck, where it clenched and hung.

He groaned loudly and pulled himself up to the bed post. Bed post? He looked around his surroundings again, this time in full consciousness.

He was sitting, naked, on the bed he had discovered earlier that day...or what now increasingly seemed to be last night. He could see that his clothes seemed to be strewn about the room, starting from the door onwards.

He closed his eyes tightly, feeling them burn once again. He also placed a thumb and forefinger over them, rubbing them, making himself feel the burning sensation more. For some odd reason it felt good to do so. It seemed to wake him up a bit more every time he did it. He moved his hand away from his eyes and shook his head rapidly. He tried to remember exactly why he was in a bed naked but all that came up were flashes of his last trip. Nothing but swirling colours and weird images of crazy things.

Zim growled loudly, everything was so damn cloudy.

Then suddenly, there was a soft moan beside him. Zim snapped his head round to look to his right and froze in absolute horror. Lying next to him, still asleep, was the skinny green frame of the bunny girl. No, Zim slammed his eyes shut and shook his head. That can't be right.

When he slowly re-opened his eyes he watched as the green skin and bunny ears faded to become deathly white and a head of black hair. She groaned lightly again and rolled around sleepily. Lilith was still asleep, but, like Zim, she was naked, her clothes could be seen on the other side of the bed.

Zim felt like the room had suddenly gotten much colder. He felt sick, but also deathly numb. He felt like his skin was too heavy. He gulped slowly and it hurt. He moved away from the sleeping human at an agonisingly slow pace, he didn't want her to wake up. He wasn't sure what he would do if she did. He found his clothes scattered in a line leading from the bed to the door, which was convenient seeing as that was the direction Zim was stealthily heading. By the time he had opened the door he was putting his arms into his coat and tying up the laces on his boots.

Zim walked into the next room and shut the door mechanically, his eyes and expression were blank. Then, just as he was about to walk out of the room, he balked and threw up into the kitchen area. He suddenly felt a rush of weakness go through him and he couldn't stand properly. He tried to force himself to walk towards the door, but he couldn't. He seemed to have lost all his energy. He grimaced and literally lifted himself up using the kitchen counter. He then staggered towards the door, slamming into the corridor walls as he did because his legs were shaking so much.

Zim steadied himself, his mind still blank, refusing to think about what deep down he knew had happened. He began walking, this time much more steadily, without making a single sound. He walked down the filthy corridor, passing door number sixty-five without a glance, down the wreaked staircase and out into the morning snow.

---

He didn't remember most of the walk home; he wasn't paying attention. At several points he was almost run over by a few cars, but he didn't notice. He was almost zombie-like in expression. He couldn't think of anything, he couldn't feel anything. He only knew that he had to go home. When he got through his front door, totally unaware of his neighbours peeping though curtains at him, he emotionlessly took of his coat and dropped it onto his couch, creating a huge dust cloud.

The place was a mess; there was dirt and dust everywhere, a clear sign that its owner had not been around for some time. This, of course, happened to be the case. Zim didn't notice the mess as he proceeded to walk into the dark and dirty kitchen. He then ordered a lift to the cleaning room in a scratchy voice that was void of any feeling.

Soon he was again taking his clothes, and contacts, off as he walked into his shower room. The room was a small, simple structure. Heated Irken water would fall from the roof to be absorbed into the floor, effectively cleaning the person using it. It could be ordered to any temperature and even have the walls change colour or switch to a TV channel if the user wanted it to. Zim however just walked in and, in a monotone voice, ordered some water. He then slowly backed into the corner of the room and sat down with his PAK resting against the wall. Quietly he drew his legs up to his chest and hugged them tight. He stayed like that for some time, with water falling down onto him while he stared unblinkingly into space.

After what seemed like a few hours, he slowly looked down at his thin arms. He looked at them like he was analysing them for any disease or germs.

"Dirty," he whispered in a slightly croaky voice. "I'm dirty. Computer, raise the temperature of the water."

The water increased in heat, but Zim again ordered it to increase. Soon he could feel the heated water painfully burning his skin. However, this was not enough.

"I'm still filthy," he said, this time more loudly and with touches of hate. "Computer, get me something to scrub my skin with."

The computer replied slowly and with great caution. "Err...master, are you sure?"

Zim exploded with rage. "GET IT FOR ME NOW YOU WORTHLESS STUPID THING!"

A panel opened at the side of Zim, producing a small, bristled, hand-held scrub while the computer quickly muttered "Ok, ok."

Zim took it and began to run it slowly across his arm. However, slowly began to become faster and harder. His face turned into a sharp, angry scowl as he saw his skin began to welt at the torture he was putting it through. He didn't care though. He could feel the screaming pain of his intense cleaning of his body, but he didn't care. He deserved it and needed it for what he had done. He had to get clean, he had to scrub his action off himself, he had to get rid of the dirt and feel of that human.

Eventually he stopped, but only after a good half hour of constant mass pain inducing self cleaning. He emerged from the shower looking like he had just gone several rounds with a rabid wolverine. His skin was covered in huge deep green welts, at some points he was even bleeding. He grabbed a towel from a helpful tendril coming from the ceiling and quickly dried himself off. He then walked over to the fresh set of clothes the computer had laid out for him.

As he pulled his left glove tight onto his hand he sighed. He clenched his fist tightly; he had felt the first ripple of his addiction calling out to him, echoing within his body, his mind and his veins. He closed his eyes and hugged himself tightly.

"You're worthless."

His eyes snapped open at that word, that hated word. However, what they landed on surprised him. Standing in front of him was a much smaller, healthier, and much more confident looking Zim.

Zim looked at his smaller self for a moment before remembering his hatred at that word and diving at him. The smaller Zim easily sidestepped his taller, sicker looking self and laughed cruelly. "HA! You're diving at figments now? Jeeze, all that spike stuff has really messed your mind up."

Zim gingerly picked himself off the floor, as the pain from his shower was still there, and turned to give the smaller Zim an evil glare. "Go away. You're just another stupid hallucination."

The smaller Zim nodded, "Indeed I am, but unlike the other images I am a representative."

Zim looked at his smaller self suspiciously. "Representing what?"

The figment grinned and threw its arms out to its sides. "I'm representing your common sense."

The Irken rolled his eyes and turned away, "I should've guessed." He began walking slowly towards the stairs; he didn't feel like taking the lift up to the upper levels.

As he walked he heard the smaller Zim run up to his side and eventually fall into step along-side him. "Hey, you better listen to me. I've got stuff to tell you."

Zim walked past a bunch of cleaning equipment he used on Gir and other electronics before coming up onto the staircase. "Huh, like what? I already know what I've done and I've fixed it."

The smaller Irken laughed harshly as they came up to the next level. "Yea, taking an abusive shower really helps solve this problem, huh? Don't be stupid."

Zim glared at his smaller self. "Well I don't see you spouting any better ideas."

The figment looked back seriously. "That's because I need to make you see the real problem. We can't form a solution until we properly analyse the problem."

Zim looked to his side as he passed various large machines that he had used in his past world conquest attempts. "There is no problem. Only a terrible mistake." Zim looked down sadly. "A mistake Zim should be killed for."

The smaller Zim hopped up onto the tracks of a large, tank-like machine and sat looking at the taller Irken. "It wasn't your fault."

Zim snapped his head up to glare at his the figment. "Not my fault? You're saying it wasn't me who...mated with some stinking human who I thought was a female Irken with bunny ears? I mean, even when I say I was deluded at the time doesn't make it sound any better. In fact, it makes it sound worse."

He began to walk on and the smaller Irken jumped down and hopped to be beside him again. "That's not the point. The point is that you were deluded in the first place."

Zim reached the steps leading to the next level. "Yea," he half snorted half laughed. "I suppose that would be a largely deciding factor."

The smaller Irken glared up at him for a second before looking forward again. "Look, how long have you had this obscene fascination with the opposite sex?"

The junkie looked down in some slight embarrassment. "Since I first got on the drug. But I really don't see what that has to do with anything. I mean, maybe the delusions, yes, but it couldn't have effected my hormone control. It only affects my mind."

The smaller Zim stopped, looking at his taller self like he had just admitted he was really a large moose. "You've got to be kidding me. You really can't be that blind, can you?"

Zim turned his head, looking at a large variety of huge containers, each filled with a different coloured liquid. In the containers were a selection of pickled experiments, various monsters and genetically engineered demons to terrorise the world with. Zim sighed. "It gives me so much pleasure and power. So much of what I've always wanted. Surly something so great and wonderful couldn't be the cause of all these problems?"

The smaller Zim swiftly caught up with his taller self and stared at him intensely. "Look at what it has made you become. You used to be so full of energy, full of ideas on experiments and interested in exploring every aspect of these natives. Even if they are a bunch of backwards filth-worms. Now look at you. You're weak, ill and lonely."

Zim turned to glare at the little Irken. "I am not lonely. Zim needs no one."

The smaller Irken smiled cunningly. "Oh really? What about Gir? Was he not company you enjoyed? Can you say you do not care for him?"

Zim walked up to the next level, refusing to make eye contact with the figment. He walked through the mass of huge boxes that had yet to be opened. Most of these contained weapons and equipment that could wipe out cities in seconds. Zim had never used them though; he enjoyed making his victory an epic event. He always felt that using some super weapon made it a bit too easy for him, and besides, in the years before the truce the fight became less about destroying earth and more about beating Dib, and he didn't need a super weapon to beat Dib.

He sighed and sat on one of the un-opened boxes. "Ok, I care for Gir, but only because we've been together from the beginning. He's never sad to see me, always helpful." He suddenly chuckled. "Well, sometimes anyway," He looked at his figment self who was standing, arms crossed, in front of him.

Zim rubbed his arm unconsciously over the point where the needles went in. "But he's safe with the Dib-beast."

The figment said nothing, but raised one antenna. Zim looked at him for a moment before he read the look and scowled, "Dib? HA!"

The smaller Irken calmly stated "Has he not been there from the start also?"

The junkie laughed harshly again. "You forget he was trying to kill me."

The short Zim twitched his antenna in annoyance. "But does he now? No, I don't think so. In fact, if I recall, he confided one of his deepest secrets to you and then tried to help you."

Zim sneered and stood up again. "Yea, great load of help that was, wasn't it?" Zim spat at the smaller Irken.

He turned his back on the figment and began walking, or perhaps stomping, towards the end of the room, towards the stairs that led up to the kitchen.

His smaller self ran up behind him, glaring angrily at the back of Zim's head. "He was the closest thing you've ever had to a friend and when he tried to stop you from self destructing you pushed him away. You literally left him standing alone."

Zim didn't want to hear this, but he knew he couldn't stop it. He began to climb up the staircase. He wanted the figment to shut up, he also wanted to stop feeling so low, but he new that neither could be currently accomplished. "I don't care," He said quietly, "He's not my friend. Zim doesn't need friends. I'm perfectly happy as I am."

The figment ran in front of Zim just as he was about to get to the door that would open up into the kitchen. Its eyes bore into Zim and he silently wondered how a hallucination could have such a furious look. "Zim. You have become nothing more than a pathetic, servile little nothing. You've lost all your friends, all your dignity, all your honour, all your health and it's all because you're stuffing your shell with that damn drug. Look at what it's made you into! You know what? You're no better then a worthless human now."

Zim slouched down onto the floor at these words. The statement had hit hard and it showed. "No, I'm not human. I'm an Irken."

The smaller Zim sneered at him. "Let's see, shall we? One, you mix with scum. Two, you permanently live on earth." Zim was flinching with every number as he realised each one was true. "Three, you indulge in pleasures deemed below the Irken people. Four, you're obsessed with mating. Oh," and he smiled wickedly at the crushed look on Zim's face. "Five, you mated for the enjoyment of it."

It finally all sank in as he realised he really had lost almost everything. The only thing left was his life, and he had even lost that at one point. His common sense figment was right; he had become nothing more then an inefficient machine, no longer supporting the collective goal of a unified people, but seeking personal satisfaction at the cost of his Irken honour. At the cost of the honour for which his entire race stood for. He had betrayed them bit by bit until he had committed the biggest betrayal of all.

He looked to the floor on the other side of the staircase. "I...I...I want..."

The smaller Zim walked to his side. "You want what?"

Zim looked up to the figment, he face the picture of morbid realisation. "I want to get better. I don't want to live in destroyed hotels or step over needles anymore. I don't want to be constantly sick and ill. I don't want my thoughts to always be of some female. I want to be as the machine again. I want to work for the good of something again."

There was a moment of silence as Zim looked down at the floor. Then he looked back up to the smaller Irken. "Zim?"

"Yes, Zim?"

"I have a problem."

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WOOP! YEA! What a chapter! So full of emotion and talking to figments and such. This was so far planned out you won't believe. Really, this (next to the next chapter) was one of the things I set out from the begging to do. In a way, it's a tribute to JTHM no4 but also some stuff here comes from a nightmare I once had (the whole waking up/finding self in similar situation/shower thing) and I also wanted to cement the idea that Irkens think being like a machine is better then obeying feelings.

But don't worry kids! Zim's gonna go back to being regular cold, unfeeling Zim in the next chapter. This is just a one off since he's talking to himself and no ones around to see him act like a sissy.

I am gonna stick to the 'I care for Gir' thing as canon as Zim does indeed show interest in the well being of Gir in the show.

Woo. This was all done in two nights, finished this chappy at about 4 in the morning. Late eh?

Oh, and guess who's coming back in the next chapter? One guess, his name begins with D…

R&R my loyal zombie readers! (The regular non-zombie readers can also review if they want.)


	10. Gather Your Friends and Family

Invader Sideos moaned and rubs his hurting eyes once more. He then looks at you ands shouts: GOD MY EYES HURT! I'm gonna have a few cameos here about. HOLY JESUS-GANDIE OFFSPRING! Its chapter 10 already! This was meant to end next chapter! Hum…Looks like I'm gonna have to ride this thing out to its full conclusion.

So yea, here's some filler chapter goodness that we all know you laaaave inside.

Oh, and prepare for the weirdest x-mass gathering you'll ever see. It's weird! Anyways...err...yea. I'm gonna write this...yup. Right now. Man I could do with some alcohol...wait. Did I just type that? CHRIST! OK. Yup. I wonder if I can fill up a whole A/N with just Yup's and Ok's. Yup.

Yup. Ok.

Written to...erm...System of a Down, DragonForce, some Iggy Pop, some other stuff. My heart hurts. Ow...

I don't own Zim...and any reference to Trainspotting is TOTALLY and UTTERLY coincidental. It sure is. Yup...ok.

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"I can't believe I'm doing this," Zim muttered as he stood shivering slightly in the cold snow. His squeedlyspooch was churning and his arms and shoulders itched horribly. But he resisted the urge to scratch, he knew it wouldn't help.

Around him the world was enjoying a picturesque Christmas day. As he had walked up to the house he was currently standing in front of he had passed other houses filled with humans surrounded by their offspring and parents.

How sickening. The humans had adorned there houses in ugly decorations and little flashing bulbs. Despite the horrid evil Santa Zim had created the humans still plastered his image around their pathetic shelters every Christmas. He often felt like ripping them down and burning them. At least Dib's house wasn't that bad, but then again Dib's family weren't big fans of Christmas.

Zim hated Christmas. He had hated all six of them he had been forced by duty to endure, especially this one. Up until the third one he had tried each year to destroy the earth, and strangely it had only been on the Christmases he had ever come truly close. On his second Christmas he had tried to capture and control the Santa-demon to use it to destroy earth. That had failed when it turned on him and he and Dib had been forced to team up and get rid of it. The Christmas after, he had tried to lure the demon back and get off the planet so it would just run about destroying things. That also failed thanks to Dib.

Zim growled, these memories made him wonder why on Irk he was standing outside the boy's house right now.

He could hear people moving around inside. Zim suddenly felt really uncomfortable. He realised that he had not only not seen Dib in weeks, but he had run off on him after the boy had offered his help. He wondered exactly how Dib would react to what Zim was about to ask him. He would help of course, it was in Dib's nature to, but it might take a bit of persuasion.

Zim narrowed his eyes and steeled himself as he heard the sound of someone approaching the door. "This is not going to be easy."

The door opened and Zim automatically launched into his pre-prepared speech, looking at his feet as he did. "Dib, I know that what I did was wrong. I don't expect you to forgive me, I only ask for your assistance in helping me stop this terrible affliction that has...err...afflicted me." He looked forward, expecting Dib's reply to be something rather angry and harsh. However, it wasn't Dib who was standing before him, in fact, Zim had absolutely no idea who it was.

The boy couldn't have been older then fifteen. He had long black hair that was tied back in a small pony tail. He was wearing a black jacket and tight dark green pants with large black boots. He also had a t-shirt with an upside down cross and he was wearing dark eyeliner. On his ears were several piercings. The boy had dark red eyes and an evil smile that Zim envied. Oddly enough he also had a pair of short horns poking up from his forehead.

The boy narrowed one eye at the junkie. "Who are you?"

Zim was going to ask the same thing, but a scream from inside the house shifted his attention.

"MASTER!" This was followed by an ear splitting scream and something green shot out from behind the evil looking child and into Zim's face. Zim fell back onto the floor as a pair of powerful robot arms gripped his head and squeezed with such force he could almost hear his skull crack.

He gripped the robot and, with some considerable force, threw it from him. He sat up and the green dog flew onto him again, but this time hugged him with less strength.

Zim looked down at his blissfully happy robot slave and patted his head. "Ok Gir, I'm happy to see you too."

Gir was in his dirty green dog disguise, but it didn't stop tears of joy flooding from the robot's eyes. Zim often wondered how the robot could do that, but then again, who was he to try and pick apart a superior Sir unit?

The boy chuckled, "So that's who you belong to. You must be Zim then?"

Zim looked up at the child and narrowed his eyes, "How do you know that?"

The boy smiled, "Cos that little robot-thing won't stop going on about you."

Zim however didn't seemed to have heard this. "HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ZIM!?"

The boy raised an eyebrow in confusion at the Irken, "O...k," he turned around and shouted into the house, "Gaz!"

There was a shout from the living room of the house as she yelled something about a game, the kid shouted that the Zim guy was at the door and a few seconds later she arrived in the doorway.

She turned to the kid, "Ok, Pepito, you can get lost now, go play with your little friend."

The Pepito kid snorted at the insult and walked back into the house. Gaz turned to look at Zim as he picked himself off the floor. Gir seemed to be refusing to let go of him and was hugging the Irken's leg tightly.

"So," She stated coldly, "what are you doing here? Come to steal some money to feed your habit?"

Zim snarled. "Actually I've decided that I should come off aswermitus."

Gaz raised an eyebrow and rather sarcastically said, "Really?"

The junkie nodded. "Yes really. But I need assistance."

Gaz smirked. "You need our help."

The Irken narrowed his eyes and said nothing. He couldn't admit to needing help, no Irken would ever admit to needing help from a lower life form. Assistance, however, was different.

Gaz stepped aside and mumbled "Fine," allowing Zim, with Gir still attached to his leg, to walk into the house. Zim walked into the front room, which lead directly to the living room. He looked over all the sights that were by now so very familiar. The same sky blue walls, the red couch, the large screen TV, the masses of Professor Membrane memorabilia. Almost nothing in Dib's house had changed, only the pictures on the mantle place showing the ageing children. As Zim walked into the house he noticed there were no Christmas decorations anywhere, not even a Christmas tree.

Gaz walked past him and growled something about following her into the kitchen. Gir stopped hugging his master's leg and hopped past Gaz shouting something about coffee and peanuts. Zim followed slowly, his eyes drawn to the couch where the spooky Pepito child was sitting next another kid while watching some Christmas movie. However, all Zim could see of the other child was the back of his head, which was covered in slightly messy black hair.

Zim shrugged and followed Gaz into the kitchen. He took a seat at the table, thankful for something to sit down on and lazily watched as Gir threw a bunch of various sauces into a cup of hot water. Gaz sat down to the left of him, also watching the insane robot attempt to make cups of coffee.

She looked at Zim, who did not look at her, and observed him for a moment, as if looking for any proof of his addiction.

Suddenly she said, "Don't mind Pepito, he's just my annoying little cousin. Him, Uncle Juan and Aunt Honey come over every Christmas and make us celebrate it with them, and they always bring that little Todd kid. It's so annoying."

Zim just nodded lazily. He really needed to talk to Dib and Dib only; this was turning out to be rather a big mistake. If he left now he could still make it to the hotel by eleven...

"No!" He pounded his fist on the table causing Gaz to jump slightly and Gir to turn around. "I'm not going back there!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow at him, "Going back where?"

Zim quickly caught himself, "Oh, err, my house. Nope. Not going back, too many reminders of what I'm trying to destroy. It'd be like going to a mall."

Gaz replied with a slow "uh-huh" before looking up. Zim turned around to see a smiling human male. He had neatly cut blond hair and a pair of glasses. His suit was a black, pinstripe business suit with matching pants and had a hint of dark red about it. On his feet was a pair of simple black shoes. However, it was the human's eyes which Zim looked at the most. They where dark, icy blue and in total contrast with his suit, making them stand out like two diamonds. The man looked at Zim, narrowing his eyes slightly and Zim felt a cold chill run down his spine. This human was creepy; there was a…something about him that seemed implacably evil.

"Well," His voice sounded normal, but Zim could still feel the malevolence pouring off this being. "Who's your friend, Gaz?"

Gaz's eyes narrowed in annoyance. She didn't seem to be affected by the darkness that this human radiated. "Uncle Juan, this is Zim, Dib's friend."

"Oh, well in that case. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name's Juan Satan."

Zim smiled nervously. "Err…Hi."

The human put a hand to his chin and inspected Zim again. The Irken could almost feel those eyes look deep into his mind. If he had a soul, he was sure that this person could see it.

Slowly the man began to smile. "Another victim of my latest attempt to spoil Christmas it seems. I hope you enjoyed the product, I spent weeks getting the chemicals just right." And he laughed and walked off.

Gaz got up and Zim did the same. Gir seemed to be now bathing in the horrible looking mixture he had made in the kitchen sink.

Gaz looked at Zim. "Ignore him; he's just happy that everything's been going so smoothly at his work lately. Come on, let's get the idiot."

As they walked out of the room and towards the stairs Pepito looked at them from where he was sitting, his friend, apparently called Todd, looked from him to the Irken and back again as Pepito spoke. "Hey, are you gonna get the waste- I mean Dib out of his room?"

Gaz just growled at him and Zim grinned evilly at the kid next to Pepito. Todd's, already large eyes, widened in fear and he ducked below the couch making a small "squee" sound as he did. Zim felt slightly better; scaring people always made him feel better.

As they walked up the stairs together the sound of music began to grow. By the time they were in front of Dib's room, marked by its many stickers saying things like 'The truth is out there,' and 'I see past them,' the music was pounding through the floor.

Gaz growled, "Those better not be MY Fury-At-The-System CD's!" She turned to a rather un-amused looking Zim. "He hasn't left his room in weeks. I think he's being a bit melodramatic."

She turned back to the door and kicked it with some force. "DIB!" she shouted above the noise, "Someone's here to see you."

The music lowered in volume and Dib wearily called out "Who?"

Zim grinned and leaned against the wall, just next to the door. "Take a guess, stink-beast."

The music lowered again and there was a hurried shuffling and crashing as Dib moved through what sounded like piles of rubbish. However, Dib did not open the door; instead Zim could hear him pause just as he got to it. "How can I be sure it's really him, how do I know you're not just trying to trick me?"

Zim rolled his eyes, "Fine. If you really want me to go I'll go."

"No! Wait..." Dib slowly opened his door, enough for his dark brown eyes to look round and spot the sickly green Irken leaning against the wall.

Zim sneered and sarcastically waved a hand. "Hi, Dibby."

Dib glared as Gaz smiled nastily at the comment. Dib slowly came out and stood in the doorway. He was a tall, thin seventeen year old who could easily pass for eighteen, maybe even nineteen. His black scythed hair was slightly messy. He wasn't wearing his trench coat, but he did have his stoic faced t-shirt and his long, sky blue arm warmers on. He wore black pants that where tucked into a pair of faintly worn out looking combat boots. His clothes looked messy and slightly faded. He also had small dark rings under his eyes, which were behind a pair of black rimmed glasses. Dib looked at Zim, noting the Irken's sickly green skin and unhealthy skinny frame.

He didn't seem very happy. "So, what are _you_ doing here?"

Zim could feel the coldness in Dib's words; he decided to counter, slipping back into the old habit of arguments between the two. "I came for your, probably useless, assistance in getting rid of this addiction."

"HA!" Dib stepped forward, using his height over Zim to his advantage and glared down at him. "You'll just run off back to your precious needles again like last time. I should've known trying to trust and help you was a stupid idea."

Zim growled back. A violent, withdrawal fuelled look entered his eyes. "You can't force someone off something like this. My problem is NOTHING like yours was. I'm asking nicely if you're still willing to aid me, Dib. I would appreciate the help, but I can do this without you. I am ZIM after all."

Dib sneered. "No you can't, that's why you came to me. You knew you'd fail at it just like you fail at everything else you try. Like having friends for example."

Zim snapped. He leapt onto Dib, his hands wrapping around the boy's neck. The two quickly fell to the floor where Zim continued to throttle the human.

However, Dib also wrapped his hands around Zim's thin neck and began squeezing. The two could have easily strangled each other there and then if it wasn't for Gaz grabbing Zim's antenna and yanking him upwards.

The Irken screamed in pain as he was dragged by a furious Gaz to the far end of the corridor and thrown in a room. The room consisted of a single bed, a dresser, and a window. By the way the room was half white half blue it was obvious the decorating in there had not been completed. The light was not turned on, so the only the light from the corridor shone in.

Zim tried to get up, but found it almost impossible. The outburst of energy had already worn him out. Dib came to the doorway rubbing his neck and grimacing at Gaz. She just pointed to the Irken who was panting and trying to haul himself onto the bed.

Zim looked at Dib, casting his own scowl as he did.

Zim watched as something seemed to come over Dib; his scowl disappeared and turned to something akin to pity, hate and disgust. Zim glared, he hated that look. He and the other residents of the Thunders Hotel would get that look from people when walking down the streets, but Zim had never cared because he knew the onlookers were inferior, stupid mindless apes waiting to be destroyed.

But when it came from Dib it meant something. Zim looked away; he couldn't stand seeing that look anymore.

Dib walked into the doorway. "Do you really want to beat this thing?"

Zim didn't look up. "Yes."

Dib placed his hand on the door. "And you promise not to run out on me again, because if you do..."

The Irken snapped his head up and growled at Dib, "Zim is not promising anything. Why do you think I came here? I need someone to hold me back."

The human grinned. "Alright Zim, I'll help." And in one swift movement he grabbed the door knob and slammed it shut.

Zim ran up to the door and tried to re-open it, but as he got there he heard the lock click and he knew there was no getting out of the room.

He smashed his fists on the door. "DIB! Let me out NOW!"

Dib's voice came through the door. It was serious, but Zim could hear him laughing at the same time. "If you stay in there then you won't be able to get to any drugs, will you? I'll be back in an hour. I've got presents to open."

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WOW! NOTHING that I planned for this chapter ACTUALLY HAPPENED!

This could mean a very short next chapter. But I could also combine it with the epologue I was going to make...humm...Yea. Ok. Anyways, there's your standard Squee and Pepito cameos. I've always loved the idea that the Membranes are related to the Diablo's. It kinda helps link everything together in a nice warm fuzzy family way.

So, yea. You can sleep easy knowing the next chapter is gonna be filled with Zim-withdrawal HELL, MUHAHAHAH!

On a sly, mean note, this chapter goes up the same day that _Ketteh and Neo_ have updated their fics (is their really two of them?) so I'm sneekily, in my unique 'asshole-esk' kinda way, am drawing some attention away from em. With any luck anyway.

Not that I have anything against em, but its just that I hate em. I hate em very much. They're obessivly promotive (HA! Bet you thought I was gonna complain about the queer gayness!). Let me explain. They write reeeaaally emo and gay ZADR and DADR (thats D for Dwiky) fics, non of which contain any other charicter 'cept the ones mentioned in the pairing (that annoys me only a little, but only because of the emo-ness), then they mass promote them by making hundreds (well, maybe not hundreds but you get the idea) of Dev-art pics about them.

Media whores at their worst. Don't you just hate this capatilist sociaty in which we live?

Bah, just ignore me. I come from an _extremly_ working class (and damn proud of it!) background. Hating the system and all that succeed in using it is in my blood.

Anyways, R&R for this chapter filled with almost nothing. In fact, I would understand completely if most of you decided not to review this chapter, I mean, it really is quite uneventful.


	11. Puppet Master

Everyone is all happily reading whatever cosy lovely thing they happen to be reading on when suddenly, dark black clouds begin to form in the sky. Sheep start baa-ing, dogs begin barking, cat's meow and run away. Lighting cracks across the sky and worried people look around scared.

Lighting strikes on the floor, cracking it. The intro to Raining Blood by Slayer fills the air as red light glows through the cracks, now people are really scared.

The earth quakes as something begins to push through, like a battering ram through the earth. People back away slowly, too frightened to run. Suddenly, the ground explodes and a figure crawls out from beneath the earth.

It is Invader Sideos, and in his hand he holds the long awaited Beautiful Torment, chapter eleven.

His eyes glow red and several mary-sue's instantly die. He grins evilly and says: WOO! It's finally here! CHAPTER FREEKIN' ELEVEN!

Well, I would say more, but I spent all my A/N space on that big long intro (but it was SO worth it), so, ONWARDS TO FICAGE!

WARNING: This chapter is VERY LONG (bet that's the most off-throwing warning you've ever read eh?).

Written to the king of this fic, Iggy Pop, Metallica especially Master of Puppets (expect a reference!), Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart (for irony). Also I'm going back to the man, the big guy upstairs, you know who I'm talkin' about, the one, the only, Lou Reed.

I don't own Zim...jeez I'm sick of saying that.

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Zim's coat lay thrown on the floor, as did the contents of the wardrobe and anything else the Irken could have thrown in his rage at being locked in a room against his will. If there was one thing that Zim could never stand, it was being forced to do things against his will.

He was sitting, shivering at his internal cold, with the bed's blanket wrapped around him in a futile attempt to warm himself up. The light was still turned off and so the only light was a dull orange glow from the streetlight outside.

All day he had sat in that room listening to the sounds of the humans downstairs. Laugher, talk and movement had been drifting up the stairs, annoying the Irken to no end.

He had spent his time feeling hungry and wishing that wasn't doing this. He never thought that he would miss the junkie life as much as he did, but then he reminded himself that he preferred his old life better and the only way to get that back would be to go though this. This would be his test of endurance, and he knew that it would not be easy. His addiction would probably punish him to the full extent of its wrath before this was over.

He couldn't help but cast a nervous smile; he hoped it would be over soon, he had a life to re-gain.

"The moment I'm over this I'm gonna get my title back, I'm gonna get my robot back and I'm gonna get my LIFE back." The vow echoed around the room.

He hugged the blanket tighter and narrowed his eyes, his voice quiet and raspy. "You hear me, bunny girl? I've had enough of you and your improvements. I, ZIM, am going to beat you because I AM ZIM!" he shouted.

The shout however, fell only on the dull walls of the room. Zim scowled again and, with shaking hands, gripped the blanket even closer as he tried to dispel the shivering cold he could feel across his skin.

He clenched his teeth and shut his eyes tightly. His body called for a fix, just one more, just to ease him through this night. His skin crawled for it, calling for him to just put the drug into his veins. Just get it over with, stop holding back, don't try to deny yourself something that you love.

Not many people can really comprehend the need for a fix that a junkie has. People can say it's easy to quit; all you need to do is lock yourself in a room and not come out until you've got the thing out of your system. But it's just not that simple. You call for it. Not your mind, or your body, or even both combined. _You_. Your very being, everything that you consider to be _you_ demands that you serve this need. Your very _life_ gets put on hold until you satisfy that one call. You could be dying of cancer and be asked to chose between the once in a lifetime cure, and a fix, and you'd chose that fix _every time_ because your life stopped being important the moment you saw that drug. Your life becomes the fix.

A knock on the door snapped his attention upwards again. A hungry look had now entered his eyes, making them seem duller then usual. Zim was only now finding out what his life had become. He needed, no, _wanted_ that fix more then anything else he'd ever _wanted_ in his whole life.

"Zim, it's me Dib. I'm coming in with some food, ok?" Zim said nothing, he only stared at the door as it creaked open and the human stepped carefully into the room. He was carrying a packet of Irken food labelled 'Dip em and Lick'.

Zim's eyes narrowed but otherwise the Irken stayed perfectly still; even the shivering had died down. There was a moment of creepy silence as Dib stood near the door holding the Irken food while Zim's dull red eyes bored into him. The teenager lifted the food to the side of his head and smiled nervously. "Gir got it from your house."

Zim didn't answer. Instead he slowly got up from his cross-legged position on the bed and, with the blanket draped over him like a cape, he walked towards Dib, all the time never taking his eyes from the boy. Dib backed up against the door, still holding the food in his hands. Zim stopped just a few inches away from him, his eyes the same level as Dibs nose. However, that didn't stop Zim from scaring the life out of him with the dark look in his eyes.

"A-a-are you feeling ok?" Dib stammered while trying to think of a way to get away from those eyes.

"No," Zim answered calmly, "I'm not ok. I could use something to cheer me up."

Dib cast a nervous smile and he slid across the wall away from Zim. He moved around the Irken so his back was against the bed, dropping the food onto the floor. "OH, like a TV?"

Zim's eye twitched. "No Dib-stink, I want a fix."

Dib scowled, momentarily forgetting his fear at Zim's odd attitude. "What? No, you're meant to be quitting, remember?"

Zim advanced a step towards the boy, his red eyes dancing with drug lust. "Come on, just for tonight, then that'll be it; no more."

"No," Dib said firmly. "Now shut up and eat-"

Dib was cut off because he had to dodge the fist that was swung at his head. Dib straightened up, but then ducked again as Zim tried to hit him.

Dib swiftly moved to Zim's side and, faster then the Irken could react, he grabbed Zim's shoulder and smacked him across the face. Zim yelped and took a step back in shock, but Dib kept his hand firmly on the junkie's shoulder. Zim raised a hand to his face as he felt the sting of the slap pulse on his cheek.

He hissed slightly through his teeth as Dib grabbed his other shoulder and made the Irken look at him. "Pull yourself together, space boy. You're going nuts."

Zim scowled and looked down, "You're right. That was stupid."

Dib smiled warily and let go of Zim's shoulders. Zim looked at Dib, then, a second later, he collapsed onto his knees.

Dib took a step back, shocked as the Irken looked up to him, his red eyes filled with tears. "PLEASE DIB! I just need one more hit. Pl-he-he-hease? I'll do ANYTHING, please, I just need this one fix, one more hit, PLEASE?"

The human looked at Zim like he had just sprouted a tail before growling, "NO, stop doing that, I'm not getting you anything. Now deal with it."

Zim's eyes got wider as panic set in. "I'll-I'll-I'll," He looked down momentarily as his mind searched for an excuse, then he looked back up, "I'll expose myself!"

Dib's eyes widened in a mix between shock and amazement at Zim's comment, never before had Zim said _anything_ like that. The reality of exactly what Zim had been doing to himself was slowly starting to sink into the boy's mind.

Zim nodded rapidly. "Yes! I'll walk out in front of all the humans without my disguise! You can get all the credit! You can cut me open and play with my innards!"

Dib was, for a PG rated sense on the word, feeling very awkward. He took a deep breath. "Zim…Zim…no, just, no, dude. I mean, I would _really_ like to be all famous and stuff for proving your existence, but I don't think they'd take me seriously if you're all high on A."

Zim's breathing became haggard. "Please, Dib-stink, please…just one hit. I'll give you the money, I'll tell you where to go, I'll-I'll…"

Dib growled and pushed Zim away from him. "Come on shorty, pull yourself together. You're supposed to be," and Dib put on a mock-Zim voice, "the mighty and invincible invader Zim."

Even though Zim was in serious withdrawal pain, he still managed to give Dib a hate filled glare.

Dib stamped out the room leaving Zim kneeling, bleary eyed, on the floor. The Irken looked at the door for a moment before he slowly lifted himself onto the bed. He knew he wouldn't be sleeping much. Well, actually he never ever slept, which also meant he would be awake for everything the withdrawal would throw at him.

"Look at that, Purple, another annoying failure of an Irken," the familiar voice of Tallest Red came from behind him.

Zim spun round, his eyes wide, and he saw his two leaders leaning against the half-painted wall. Red had a sneering, demeaning look on his face, while Purple was drinking from a suck-monkey.

Purple stopped his drinking to look at his fellow leader. "Yea," he laughed. "Sad really, isn't it, how losers can sometimes pop up in a perfect society?"

Red nodded as Zim looked on, surprised and speechless. "Well, at least we can make them useful for something."

Zim tried to move towards his leaders, but as he started forward he bumped into a glass window. He looked around him, panicking. He was trapped in a sort of large glass tube. When he looked back at his leaders he saw that they where not in the spare room, but instead in an Irken laboratory. Around them scientists and assistants checked machinery and muttered quick notes to each other.

Zim smashed his fists on the glass. "I'M NOT A DEFECTIVE! I AM ZIM! ZIM IS NOT A DEFECTIVE!"

He began to panic even more as one scientist walked up to the Tallest and professionally said, "The subject is ready for liquidisation."

Zim's blood ran cold; he now knew what was going to happen to him. He was going to be liquidised and fed into a smeet hatch tube. His body would be used to feed the new generation. This was what the Irkens did to traitors and some defectives. When an Irken was not deemed worthy enough of having their body stripped for DNA to create new smeets, they were instead fed to them. The useless became useful in death.

Zim exploded into a rabid mass of screaming and banging, anything to stop them, but nothing worked. The Tallest looked at Zim as if he were some annoying fly before Red, with the wave of a hand, commanded that the process begin.

Zim looked up as the top of his glass chamber opened to reveal the end of a laser looking down at him. The laser glowed and Zim crouched down as much as possible in an attempt to get away from it. His eyes widened more as the laser began to glow.

In the background he could hear Purple say, "This is boring, let's get some donuts."

The laser fired and everything went black as pain ripped though Zim's body. He tried to scream, but no sound would come from his mouth. He kicked and punched in every direction, trying to escape the pain.

Suddenly he landed with a thump on the floor of the spare room. Zim rolled onto his side and looked about, sweat pouring off his skin. Still on all fours he looked around. The room was dark and quiet. The early rising sun was pushing deep orange beams through the window. Zim guessed it was starting to move around until morning, meaning he'd been here at least one day.

He sighed and let his head fall down. "It was only a hallucination." He looked up, and smiled. "Only me and this guy."

Sitting on a chair in front of Zim was a medium sized Irken with a black and white striped uniform and a black pair of pants that were tucked into combat boots. He was reading a paper, so Zim couldn't see his eyes. Zim continued to stare at the odd looking Irken as he lowered his paper, showing Zim a pair of very dark looking purple eyes which danced with a dangerous insanity.

The scary looking Irken gave Zim a look of disregard and said, "Don't look at me; I'm not even in this story." He then buffed his paper and went back to reading.

Zim raised an antenna in confusion and cocked his head slightly. What was that supposed to mean?

There was a sudden knock at the door, drawing Zim's attention away from the Irken next to him.

"Hey, junkie, you hungry?" Gaz's voice came through the door.

Zim didn't feel in the least bit hungry, unless you count the drug hunger, but he had the unusual urge for someone's company.

He shakily got to his feet, finding that he was shivering even though he felt perfectly warm. "Err…yes! Yes, Zim has a mighty hunger for…stuff."

He knew exactly what he was hungry for, but he didn't want to voice that to Gaz. She was most likely to kick the living daylights out of him and come back for seconds.

The door opened and the female walked confidently into the room. Unlike Dib, Gaz had no fear about what Zim would do in his withdrawal state.

She narrowed her eyes in disgust at Zim's horrid appearance. "Jeeze Zim, you're a living reminder as to why I don't do drugs."

"But you do smoke," Zim hissed quietly.

Gaz's eyes narrowed as she threw a packet of Irken food at Zim's feet and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Zim shouted, holding out a shaking hand.

Gaz stopped and turned her head to look over her shoulder. "What?"

Zim let his hand fall to his side and he slumped onto the floor. He felt too weak to stand up. "I…don't know…" His head dropped, his eyes closing.

Gaz raised an eyebrow at the irken's odd statement and fully turned around. Dib was right; Zim really was taking this withdrawal hard. And she'd thought trying to stop smoking was tough.

She stood for a moment before slowly asking, "Why are you doing this?"

Zim looked up, curious. "Doing what?"

"Quitting," Gaz said simply. "Why now? What happened to make you want to do this to yourself if you _knew_ it was going to put you in this much pain?" A tiny smile appeared on her lips. "You're hardly the type to put yourself in pain for no reason."

Zim looked away from Gaz. "I did…something…" he mumbled.

Gaz's eyes narrowed in interest. "What?"

Zim looked up, growling. "Zim did something that Zim is not proud of, OK?" And the junkie crossed his arms like a small child who couldn't get his own way.

Gaz smirked. "What'd you do? Screw somebody?" She chuckled at the very idea.

However, her face dropped when she saw Zim look down in self-pity and his crossed arms unfold to hold the sides of his thin body tightly.

For a moment she just stood, looking at Zim with wide eyes then, slowly she said. "Oh…my…God…"

"SHUT UP!" Zim screeched at her, his eyes almost tearing in rage and self-hate. "JUST SHUT UP, YOU STINKING HUMAN!"

Gaz looked like she wanted to laugh, or cry, or just plain leave. Eventually she said, "Well…it's your own fault, isn't it?"

Zim's eyes narrowed dangerously, but he didn't say anything.

Gaz continued in an unusually quiet tone. "You put all that crap into your body, and you fucked up, and now you're paying the price."

Zim wanted to say something that would prove her wrong, but he had nothing, she was telling him the blank truth. He looked down and scowled at himself, curling into a small ball.

She turned to leave, however, just as she got to the door Zim called out, "Gaz-human."

She stopped and turned around, halfway out of the door. When she spoke, her voice still contained that unusually soft quality that Zim had never really heard in her voice before. However, it still contained that uncaring tone that Gaz's voice seemed to epitomise.

"What?"

"Don't…tell Dib…ok?" Zim almost whispered and he looked up to see if she would agree.

For a moment Gaz looked like she was almost battling against something inside her, like she wanted to say something to him, but then she finally turned her back on Zim, so that he couldn't see her face.

"Alright." And she left the room, locking the door behind her.

Zim continued looking at where Gaz had been. He couldn't ever recall a time she had acted like that. One of his antennas twitched in confusion, then he sighed. His mind felt tired, but he couldn't sleep, so he supposed he could just curl up in a corner and try not to move for a while until he got some strength back. He was even beginning to regret his refusal of Dib's offer of a TV to watch; at least it would keep him distracted for a while.

"Zim." Zim jumped as his name floated across the room. He poked his head up to look over the side of the bed. He knew who the voice belonged to, and it belonged to the one person he didn't want to see.

The bunny girl sat on the other side of the bed, looking at him with her deep blue eyes and a wicked grin on her face. Zim looked away and cursed silently.

He looked back, narrowing his eyes in anger. She was wearing the clothes that Lilith wore, which only made him feel angrier. He could tell she was taunting him, making the pain of the drug hunger within his veins even worse. He growled, "What do you want."

Her head tilted slightly and her grin grew bigger. "What are you doing?"

Zim crawled onto the bed, but made sure to stay on his side. "Go away, stu-pid being. I don't want you anymore. I don't want any of your so-called improvements or any of the sickness that you bring."

She stood up and her grin vanished. She looked at the junkie on the bed before she suddenly started laughing. Zim watched her with intense hatred until she stopped. When she looked back her eyes no longer looked deep and calm, they were icy and cold. "You can't give me up, you love me."

Zim snarled and pointed a shaking finger at her. "NO! I don't love you, Irkens are beyond love."

She sneered at him. "HA! You can't give me up, Zim, you know you can't. You're mine." Her voice changed as she spoke, as if something was slowly replacing it. It stopped being soft and seductive and grew deeper until it was almost demonic sounding. She also began growing taller.

Zim looked on in horror as the bunny girl's eyes changed from blue to a dark red as she began to tower over him. Her bunny ears turned into sharp horns and all her teeth suddenly became sharp and pointed. The room fell away into darkness until it was only Zim on the bed.

He looked up at the giant bunny girl, quivering in fear and she glared down at him with a look of pure hatred.

"MAGGOT!" She shouted, her voice shaking the very bed Zim sat on. "You dare defy me? I am your master, I control you. You exist only to feed me!"

"NO!" Zim screamed back, but his voice was thick with fear and desperation. "I AM ZIM! I don't need ANYONE! I can beat you..."

The demonic bunny girl sneered and raised a hand above him. "No Zim, you're mine."

Zim looked up and his eyes widened as a wooden cross materialised in the bunny girls claws. Suddenly, out of the ends of the cross, ropes appeared. They flew down towards him and before he could properly react they landed on his arms and legs. He kicked and screamed and tried to pull the ropes off of him, but they wouldn't budge. Above him he heard the evil laughter of the bunny girl and he suddenly felt himself being hoisted up from the bed.

He looked back and watched as the bed slowly sank into oblivion. He turned his head to see that the bunny girl had lifted him up to her face. He could see right into those burning red eyes and he couldn't hide his terror.

"Now, my little slave," she said slowly, her voice booming over Zim. "Who. Is. Your. Master?"

Zim was petrified. Here he was, in the middle of oblivion, hanging like a puppet on strings at the mercy of some gigantic evil bunny girl demon thing. His body was screaming for a fix, any fix, just something to quell the burn in his veins. All the while, he knew he only had one option.

It was time to re-gain his Irken honour.

He looked at the bunny girl demon and, gathering all the Zim-ness left in him, he sneered mockingly, "Eat me." Then, stretching the rope a bit, he placed his thumb under the top row of his teeth and flicked it at her.

She roared in anger, causing Zim to close his eyes and look away. She stopped and he looked back. Her face was furious at his disobedience. Zim could actually see fire in her eyes.

He couldn't help but laugh.

"FINE!" she screamed, and she tilted her head back and opened her mouth. Zim was still laughing insanely as she lifted him above her head and dropped him into her mouth. Zim fell into the void. The strings vanished, but he didn't care. He was still laughing. He knew he had won.

--

Zim's eyes slowly opened. Sunlight streamed though the crack in the curtains and outside he could hear birds chirping away merrily. He looked around him drearily. The room was a mess. Clothes lay everywhere, the door to the cupboard was hanging from one hinge and there seemed to be vomit stains on various parts of the carpet.

Zim shut his eyes again and groaned. He could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. As he raised a hand to rub his aching eyes he noticed that he wasn't wearing his gloves or shirt, but he did have his pants on.

"Thank flirk for that…" he mumbled quietly.

Then his antenna quirked, as he picked up on the sounds of someone walking up the corridor and towards the door.

His tired eyes locked onto the door as it opened and Dib walked into the room, carrying a tray of waffles. Through his legs a small green dog ran into the room, jumping onto the bed and grabbing the Irken in a very tight hug.

"MASTER!" Gir shouted as he gripped Zim in his unrelenting hug.

"Gir…" Zim choked. "Get…off…me…"

Dib laughed from the other side of the room.

Gir stopped hugging Zim and jumped back. "Is master ok now?"

Zim put a hand across his aching ribs. "Yea…I'm feeling better."

Dib sat down on the end of the bed, being careful not to knock any of the food over.

"Hey space-boy, you're awake at last," he commented as he put the tray at the end of the bed.

Zim sat up gingerly, feeling as though the crap had been kicked out of him. And that was without Gir's hug. He blinked slowly and looked at the food. "Ugh…what a horrible night."

Dib raised an eyebrow. "Night?"

Zim looked at him suspiciously. "Yea, night, I did get here yesterday…right?"

Dib laughed once and then started laughing a lot. Zim narrowed his eyes at him. "What…what is it, Dib-filth? Tell Zim now."

Dib stopped laughing, but left a huge grin on his face. "Dude, you've been here for five days. Don't you remember any of it?"

Zim looked back to the end of the bed and scratched his head slowly. "Erm…no."

Gir blinked dumbly. "You'se were havin' nightmares."

Dib started laughing again, but it was a genuine laugh, free of any mockery. Even Zim couldn't help but crack a smile and a laugh, but he disguised it as a cough.

Dib shook his head as he slowly stopped laughing. "Oh man…it's been crazy. Most of the time you were screaming at nothing or vomiting. All the other times you were unconscious."

Zim gulped. "Really?"

Dib nodded. "Yup."

Dib patted Gir on the head, causing the tail of the costume to wag. "Gir here never left the door the whole time, he was on guard twenty-four seven."

Zim felt a rush of pride that his little, insane robot actually watched over him. The robot may be crazy, but he had proved his loyalty a dozen times over. "Thanks, Gir."

The robot waved his arms, "Gir do good?"

Zim nodded. "Yes, Gir do good."

Gir cheered, "YAY!" And his head opened to pop out some weak looking confetti.

Zim rolled his eyes and put his hands behind his head.

Dib looked at the alien curiously. "It's odd though, my research said it would take longer for you to recover…"

Zim let a proud smile creep onto his face. "Irkens are superior beings; we can recover far faster then any human."

Dib scowled, but inwardly decided that it was a good enough answer.

There was a moment of silence before he suddenly announced, "Where are my clothes?"

The human cracked his fingers absentmindedly. "Getting washed. They were covered in sick and sweat."

Zim nodded slowly. He still felt rather ill, but at least it seemed the worst was over now. However, he still didn't feel like eating, so he just poked at the food. "Hey," he said, quietly changing the subject. "Are those new boots?"

Dib looked down at them and grinned. "Yea, nice aren't they?" The boots where knee high in length and tight on Dib's legs. They were held on by three buckles and the metal toes were made to look like the hoofs of a goat. Zim noticed that they moved when Dib wiggled his toes.

He grinned at Zim's impressed look and said, "My uncle Juan gave them to me as a Christmas present. He said that with them I would walk an interesting path." He looked at the Irken, confused. "What'cha think he meant by that?"

Zim just shrugged. "I dunno."

Gir looked at Dib. "He was scary man."

Dib frowned at the dog. "No he's not…well, yes, he is, but he's not that scary. Besides, he always gets me the coolest presents. Like the time he-"

Gir had stopped paying attention and was now pointing out the window at some bird with his mouth agape, drooling slightly, with a zombie-like expression on his face.

Dib glared at the dog and Zim chuckled cruelly. It seemed that Dib had yet to master the art of making people pay attention to him.

The human stood up and yawned. "Well, I'm going downstairs to watch TV." He looked at the alien. "You gonna come down later?"

Zim looked at his food, then at Gir who was chasing his tail without the doggy hood on. He looked at Dib and gave a weary grin. "I am Zim; of course I'll come down later. Zim cannot be defeated by anything!"

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OH MY GOOD GOD! (Falls onto knees and begins to tear up) I FINALLY FINISHED IT!

I'd like to thank the academy...

Yea, enough crap. This took, quite possibly, a WHOLE MONTH to do. Why? I don't know...I really don't. This stupidly epic chapter of crazy epicness is done and dusted and that's all that matters now. I think the end of this chapter is very fuzzy and sweet, not very original or shocking or Sideos-esk at all is it? Sorry about that chums, but that's why I got one more chapter.

But now the ordeal is over. Only one last short chapter to do then that's it! I'm FREE! FREE TO WRITE OTHER THINGS! (Not like I havn't but…you know…)

AHHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem, yes.

REFERANCES!

Slight Matrix reference with the liquidisation thingy...yup. But I only realised that after I wrote it, I was trying to be horribly morbid and sick.

Of course, the greatest Sideos cameo ever. I love it, it's so...great. Sideos...reading a paper...just...hilarious. And the quote...fantastic.

And some very subtle…_thing_ going on there with Gaz and Zim…

And, of course, the (as promised) Master of Puppets tribute. You know you love Metallica.

All in all I like this chapter. It's got a fuzzy, sugary sweat ending…or has it? I hate the end of this chapter because it's just so…Saturday night classic feel good movie ending. Lucky me that I got an epilogue up ma sleeve.

Anyways, next chapter to be the last, poor you guys.

Anyways. R&R before you die horribly from nonereviewingitus. (Also, check out my editors little nonsense oneshot called 'See Dib Run', its HILERIOUS!)


	12. End of an Era

Well…here it is…the last chapter of BT ever. It's kinda weird how this whole thing turned out. The idea came to me while sitting on a couch eating chicken korma and was started at something like half 12 at night, now it's like my hallmark piece of fiction.

Like I said in the very first chapter of EA, "I'll be remembered for all time!" What a self important person I am…

But still, I can boast that this fic is pretty original, as I fully intended it to be. In the summery I made a promise to include 'Sex, drugs, and rock n' roll.' Well, lets see if I kept my promise. Sex? Yup. Drugs? Oh yes. Rock n' roll? Well, I had a Velvet Underground songfic chapter and you can't get much more rock n' roll then that. So yes, in all, I think I filled my promise.

Thanks to: Sanoon (For being MEGA helpful and a comrade), Wallflower-chan (for also being ULTRA helpful, and of course the fan-arting!), Invader Spyder, Gir ate my tacos, SpeakingThroughWrittenWords, onlytomriddle, HeCallsMeHisChild, DemonSurfer, andromedacblack, Invader-Katz (for more fanart!), PAN THE KITSUNE (also for fanart!) and all those people who only reviewed once or I forgot to mention.

A HUGE thanks to Deyinel who took the nice time out to beta-read and edit every chapter. Without her assistance, this humble writer would be dead on the first word.

Sneere suggested that I should go and make a third part, involving Dibs descent in insanity (it's the boots I tell ya!), but it wouldn't work. I mean, this is all from Zim's view and so telling a story of Dibs insanity from Zims view would nice, different, but far to hard for me to try...for now.

So...last chapter...(sniffle)...I'm gonna miss this fic. This was my ultimate ode to Invader Zim, the fic to truly show how much the show means, and influenced, me. But also this was a showcase for all the other things that influences my writing style. E.g. JTHM, Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, Trainspotting and such things.

So yea, this fic is my best. After this everyone can quit reading my stuff cos it's not going to get any better. That's it...the end of the road...capesh. Caput. Fin. It can only go downhill from here on out.

Who says I've got low self esteem?

Anyways, on with the prologue. I'll discuss the finer points, the metaphors and the shit like it at the end if you want to bother reading those.

Sanoon and Wallflower-chan may spot one or two in-jokes here…

So, on three hundred and sixty-five days exactly to the date that EA was first posted, posted at exactly (or damn close to) 12 at night, here is the ending.

Written to Metallica, Gogol Bordello, Iggy Pop and Lou Reed. And, because I just downloaded it, The Vandals - I Want to be a Cowboy.

I don't own Zim. So sue me.

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"Assholes," Dib muttered as he and Zim walked past a couple who gave them a quick look then tittered to each other. Zim rolled his eyes; Dib had been like this for a good month. In fact, he'd probably been getting worse as the month went on.

Most of the snow had melted away, but some of it still remained, especially in areas still in shadows. Now, though, it was more like slush and hailstones. However, the ice remained in force. Despite winter being officially over, the chilling weather still persisted. The two were walking towards the nearest twenty-four seven in order to re-fill up on snacks. They had been having a three hour long game of 'Riff Master,' which had a guitar-like controller, and complaining about how they didn't have enough Dethklok songs. Well, Dib and Gaz did, Zim didn't really know much about earth music, so he didn't comment much.

Gaz had beaten the boys hands down. Zim complained that she was just lucky and his mighty Irken gaming powers could beat her any other day. At that point, she had threatened to kill them both with a rusty chainsaw unless they went and got some supplies right there and then.

Zim sighed as he ignored Dib's ranting about people who couldn't respect other people and just leave them alone.

Zim had found that he now spent far more time playing video games with the Membranes then he did before. It was Dib's advice, of course. While Zim had been busy withering in the pain of withdrawal for five days, something he still had the odd flashback about, the human had gone and researched into every aspect of how to deal with it. Including what came after. Dib knew that once the physical side of quitting was over, the next step would be the mental. The depression, the boredom, the sheer willpower to not walk out and get a fix just to cheer yourself up.

Dib had told Zim to keep as busy as possible, to use any distraction. Play games, watch movies, read books. Zim had taken the human's advice, if a bit grudgingly, on the knowledge that he was right. The Irken now had three different consoles and hundreds of games. He also had a large stock-pile of movies and a collection of books to keep him occupied.

Zim looked at the floor, but boredom cannot be held off forever. So many times he had felt the need to go and get a fix. Not out of drug hunger, he was past that now, but out of shear depression. He didn't realise how much aswermitus had filled his life until he finally came off. From the moment he woke up every moment was about acquiring the drug. He would spend all day waiting for that one blissful hit. Now he couldn't do that, he had nothing. Not that he was crying his eyes out; it wasn't that sort of depression. It was more of a…bored depression. He had no energy, no urge to go and challenge himself to go create new machines or improvements, or even repairs on his base.

Zim had even found himself envying the human ability to sleep; at least they could shut off any pain or worry for a while. He had to stay awake through it all, although he was thinking about perhaps experimenting on his PAK to fix that. After all, it was hardly illegal to mess with his PAK now.

The worst thing about it all was that nothing, not winning a game or watching people die onscreen or reading about humanity's demise, was as good as one hit of spike. Not that he regretted coming off aswermitus, quite the opposite, he was glad he'd beaten the drug. He had proven his superiority to himself and the humans. But still…it had not been an experience he found himself regretting…

Aswermitus was, and to Zim it was still, the _ultimate_ hit. Nothing he'd ever known even touched on how great it was, the _feeling_ of it was unbeatable; even remembering it made Zim feel better. Everything else just seemed, well, dull in comparison, which was probably why he felt so down.

He sighed again as the two turned a corner and looked at his human companion with annoyed eyes. Dib wasn't helping much either. Lately he had changed, he seemed to get annoyed at every little thing that went wrong and would fly into furious rants about them. The boy also seemed to be sleeping even less then he used to, often going for two weeks or more without it. Zim had even noticed that Dib would sometimes seem slightly distracted, as if he were hearing something that the Irken couldn't.

Gaz seemed to have noticed this too as she seemed to roll her eyes at Zim whenever Dib went off on one. She had been surprisingly helpful in easing Zim's boredom. She let him play her games, borrow her movies and read her books. She had even asked him if he would go watch a film next week. Dib had laughed and called it a date. Zim told him it was not a date, it was a film and a date was a horrible tasting fruit that burnt his tongue when he had tried to eat one.

Dib stopped his rant with a final hiss and then settled for a disgruntled look. He stuffed his hands into this trench coat pockets and looked at Zim, who was still looked down at the floor.

The boy's face softened, "Hey Zim."

"Mmm," Zim absently replied not really paying attention.

"What was it like?"

Zim looked at Dib suspiciously. "What was what like?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "You know, the drug. What was it like?"

Zim's eyes widened then assumed a suspicious look once more. "Why do you want to know, stink-beast?"

Dib shrugged and kicked a stray can. "I dunno. I just do."

Zim looked up and sighed. "Well...it's hard to describe. Even for someone as _mighty_ as I. Humm..." Dib silently waited as Zim thought of an answer. Zim looked back down towards the floor. "Imagine if you had successfully exposed me, dissected my guts, become the most famous human on earth. Then you had somehow stopped the armada and defeated the entire Irken Empire on your own. Then imagine if the most attractive and rich of all your disgusting species decided to become your mate. Then pile all your dreams together and complete them with amazing, Zim-like success."

By now Dib's eyes were quite wide in surprise at Zim's description. Zim turned to look at Dib with a dry smile. "Then multiply that by about a thousand and you may be somewhere near it."

Dib's widened his eyes and he nodded slowly. "Oh...kay. That good eh?"

Zim looked ahead again. "Yes, it's that good."

The walk continued for another few minutes until Zim finally spotted the store and breathed a sigh of relief. A fat human passed them and cast a snide chuckle at the way the two of them looked.

"I swear," Dib said as they jogged across the road. "One day I'm gonna kill one of these people."

"Huh," Zim sneered. "I'd like to watch that."

Dib said nothing. As they walked up towards the automatic doors to the store there was a shout from behind them.

"Zim? ZIM!"

Zim looked around at his name being called, but what he saw made his squeedlyspooch drop. Standing, wearing the same clothes she always seemed to wear, was Lilith. The only difference to her appearance was that she seemed to have lost the bunny-ear pony tails and now put her hair back with a dull red hair band. Her eyes seemed to light up at the sight of Zim and a smile grew on her pale face.

Zim stood, speechless; he was hoping he'd never see her again. Dib stood at his side looking back and forth between to two.

Zim turned fully to face her, narrowing his eyes. "Go away, Dib."

"Who-"

"GO AWAY, DIB!" Zim yelled at him.

Dib stood for a second longer before raising his hands to his shoulders in surrender. "Fine. Whatever." He then turned and walked inside the twenty-four seven.

Lilith hopped over to Zim and held out her arms for a hug to which Zim didn't respond. After a second she looked down and wrapped her arms around herself. She then brushed a stray bang of hair away from her face and look away. "Wow...this is...wow."

Zim was emotionless apart from his angrily narrowed eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Lilith looked down and hugged her pitifully thin form once more. "You look different...you grew your hair back, I see."

Zim unconsciously ran a hand through his new wig. He had made this one better, it wouldn't come off quite so easily now, and instead of his old style it came down around his head. Dib called it an 'emo-cut,' but apparently that was the most normal style. Well, according to MTV it was, and Gir had said MTV knows everything about being normal. She was right though, he did look different.

Since he had quit the drug his skin had regained its healthy deep greenness again and he had gained back most the weight he had lost, although he was still pretty thin. The dark rings under his eyes had gone and the bruises on his arm and track lines along his veins had slowly vanished. He was, effectively, back to his old self.

There was a moment of silence, where a small wind blew across the gap between them, until Lilith finally said, "You've quit, haven't you?"

Zim nodded once. "About a month back."

She smiled. "Wow Zim, I'm so proud of you. I wish I could quit..."

Another pregnant moment passed. Zim knew she wanted to breach the subject, he did too, but at the same time he wanted to ignore the subject entirely.

Zim hated awkward moments.

"Look," She said quietly, "We need to talk about what happened."

Zim shook his head slowly. "No we don't. It was a mistake, that's the end of it. As far as I'm concerned, the moment never even happened."

Lilith looked hurt. "Zim...I mean...Ok, it was a mistake, but you can't just leave it at that. I knew you had that crush on me..."

Zim growled. "Yes, but that was then, this is now." Zim was actually wondering how he could have ever developed a crush on this human girl.

She was stick thin, unnaturally pale with greasy hair and huge dark rings under her eyes. However, it comforted him to know that inside there were none of the feelings he used to feel around her. No queasy squeedlyspooch, no reoccurring thoughtcrime, no fumbling speech. Now that he had lifted the veil of A from his eyes, he could pick out all the faults in the girl he once obsessed over. He didn't just not like this human, he was almost repulsed by her appearance. Did he really used to want this...junkie?

The female looked crushed; she looked down, then back up to Zim's cold eyes. "So that's it then."

Zim folded his arms. "Yep."

She sighed. "It's just that...well...I liked you Zim, more then the other guys. You hung around with me, you listened to me. I liked waking up and knowing you were next to me..."

Zim scoffed. "I don't care anymore. Maybe, if I was still on spike I would have, but I've changed. I got better and you..." he looked her up and down, "Are a filthy junkie."

She looked down and Zim heard her sniff back a tear. He had to hold back a snort of laughter, he really shouldn't be having this much fun.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked around.

Dib was looking slightly anxious and he spoke quickly. "We should go...now."

Zim raised an invisible eyebrow. "Why?"

Dib just tipped his head down a little. "We don't wanna anger Gaz..."

The excuse seemed stupid but Zim shrugged, he was tired of talking to this junkie girl anyway. Dib started walking ahead rather quickly and Zim turned to follow suit. He gave Lilith one last look. "Bye Lilith, hope you do...something." He grinned evilly and walked after Dib, who was already across the road.

However, when he took one last look back as they turned a corner, he still saw her standing there. But he also saw that the twenty-four seven seemed to have spilt red paint all over the windows.

He shrugged and ran to catch up with Dib.

Dib looked back hurriedly then, after a moment where he looked like he was listening to something, he relaxed. Zim stared at the boy's odd behaviour before looking in front of him. This was Dib after all.

Dib looked at the Irken. "Who was that?"

Zim sneered, "Oh, just a bad memory."

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WOOOP!

It's done!

All done!

YAY! Finished at 2:07 am on a Saturday. Practically year's worth of writing, all done. My ode, finished on what I think is a beautiful ending. Slightly OOC, but hey, last chapter n' all, leaving the whole Zim-cured thing in no doubt but also ending on the cliff-hanger of waste-lock Dib. Lilith, the wicked bunny girl witch of the west, is all CRUSHED…and everyone else is...erm…whatever.

So...yea. The idea I was aiming for was to not to totally re-create the 'Zim'-verse, but to bring it into a more serious, realist world. Maybe to the styles of I Feel Sick (But with more inclusion of world events and culture) in order of making the story seem more mature. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted the classic Zim wierdness and cynicism you see in all J.V's works, I just wanted adapt it to my own style and not be forced to obey 'those' rules (If you know what I mean).

I hope it worked...I think I achieved a kinda… Miller come Vasquez with a bit of Gilliam thrown in maybe. Or maybe I'm just a big headed fool…who knows!

The big theme here is the idea of everyone having his or her personal addiction to something. Zim has aswermitus, Dib self-harmed and now has killing and Gaz has smoking. Most characters, at least over a third of them, have something that they are addicted to. It wouldn't be a real fic about addictions if they weren't would it? I mean, you look at other fics that deal with drugs and they're all one character centralised. They all just focus on how bad and terrible and sad the chosen characters life is because their on drugs. PU-LEZE, someone give me a sick bag. We've heard it all before, mate, so shut it, yer?

That's one thing I never EVER wanted to do in this fic. There was NO WAY I was gonna make this into some depressive sob story. Only two chapters ever dealt on that issue, the rest was dedicated to life around the drug or experiences on it. I think that's one of the best points of this whole thing, the way it doesn't focus entirely on the addiction itself. Life continues to happen; drug abuse is just one part of it all.

I also didn't want to end it on too good of a good point, which is why the whole Dib waste-lock thing went down. But it was also something that I had been planning from the end of E.A. as a sort of tribute/joke hybrid thing.

Oh, just so everyone's clear on this fact, while I have no plans for a third part I still wouldn't mind making one. I have one or two buzzwords (like 'rehab clinic' for one) and mental images for one or two scenes (like a group therapy session) but no real ideas or anything, apart from some kind of…relapse of some kind. So suggestions, begging's and threats may spur me on somewhat.

It's what I and my fellow writer's in my little inner circle of writer pals like to refer to as 'the glue problem'. You get loads of cool ideas, but no good plot to 'glue' them all together…

But who knows? Maybe, one day, you'll sign into check on the 'Invader Zim – Just In' page to see a new Invader Sideos fic with the first words in the summery being 'Earthly Addictions Prequel'…

Well, that about wraps it up. Everything I got to say, I've said it.

So, leave big long in-depth reviews about this fics greatness. Or not, be mean and leave little tiny ones.

Thank you for your reading, your support and your reviews. You guys give me the reason to bother opening word documents and typing out my horrible little ideas.

The End.

Go home now.


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